Category: Podcast

Finding Yourself By Letting Go

Finding Yourself By Letting Go

Through The Eyes of a Horse

Horse Therapy-the horse who started it all: Cherokee

 

What can I say, I LOVE horses! I have always loved horses, just seeing them makes me smile. Yet as a girl growing up in the suburbs of Chicago I was never around any horses. The attraction is a mystery.

Never in my WILDEST dreams could I have imagined that at my age I would be surrounded by them every single day, training them, getting certified to train them, grooming them and now bringing a therapy to the public in which the horses becomes the teacher.

They are incredible creatures with so much to offer.

My journey began after my amputation and with the horse you see pictured above. Even though I was only around him for 30-45 minutes, the impact he made on my life was the most profound experience I have ever felt! Not only did my amputation change the trajectory of my life, now horses were a part of this ever changing path.

Now after 4 years of learning and teaching, observing and making mistakes,  I am ready to bring this mental healing to others, and I AM EXCITED!!!

 

CONNECTION

 

BEING PRESENT

 

TRUST

 

The benefits of just being in proximity to horses is incredible! The healing they can bring to our lives is unmatched.

I hope that one day you, too, can feel the healing power of horses in your life, and I would love to be the one to take you there.

Join me on this new journey that I never, EVER saw coming a mere 5 years ago.

Let’s work together and heal ourselves through the eyes of a horse.

 

I pray you have a beautiful week and a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much Love,

 

My silly girl!
Help!

Help!

How Can You Know What You Don’t Know?

 

Yep, like clockwork!

Like life itself, being an amputee throws you curveball after curveball, no matter how seasoned you are.

My time is now, I guess.

I am almost six years out from my amputation, life has been great! I have been traveling, active, enjoying mobility and no (knock on wood) phantom pains worthy of discussion. This is the good stuff! I’m living my best life!

 

Monday’s walk…pre-pain

Enjoying island life

 

Monday, however, with our weather being nice and cool in the mornings, I took my pups for a walk. About one mile in I noticed an aching in my femur. Never had that before. Very curious.

At  1 1/4 miles, however, I as limping and trying to keep pressure of my limb and socket. Once I got home and sat for a minute the pain was gone, but I could recreate it by moving my socket around.

Now, I know my limits and I know how to push myself so, of course, I went for a walk the next morning.

And you guessed it, I was in pain again, in the same place on my leg. This time I cut my walk a little shorter.

I have never had this before. So I did what I needed to do. I began going through a process of elimination for what I was feeling.

First off, I was checking my residual limb that night for bruising or soreness when I touched the area in question. It feels bruised.

I had no redness or swelling.

I had no rash or blisters.

I checked my weight, only down a few pounds, but that’s not uncommon.

I am noticing some tripping off my toes lately which could indicate that my prothesis might be dropping some when I pick up my leg when walking.

My best guess is that for some odd reason, six years in, I am having some volume change, or shape change, to my residual limb (which is weird since I haven’t changed anything in my routines nor have I been traveling the past couple of weeks). This would explain bruising as I may be banging around in my socket because of excess room.

My worst case scenario is a possible bone spur, which would cause pain on the bone and can happen at anytime after amputation. This would suck because I’d have to have surgery to remove them.

So, for now, I will NOT take to social media to find answers because my medical team and I know my situation best.

I will NOT worry, because that doesn’t help and is a waste of time.

 

The Limb Center: I have these guys in my corner.

 

I have called my prosthetist and let him know what I’m feeling, when I’m feeling it, and where the pain is coming from. I will be seeing him soon to check out my fit of my socket and making some educated guesses with the person who has seen me through to this point.

From there we will formulate a plan to reduce/eliminate  the problem.

 

 

If you are  like me, and are dealing with an unusual circumstance with your residual limb.

If you are feeling scared or worried about what might be causing your trouble, here is your Call to Action:

 

Please don’t ask the keyboard warriors on your social media feed!

Please process what you are seeing, feeling, and noticing that is different than before with your residual limb and/or socket.

Make notes.

Call your medical team: orthopedic surgeon, prosthetist, and/or physical therapist and get their help.

And please, whatever you do, don’t waste time worrying about what it could be. Just remember that you were strong enough to get to where you are now, and you will be stronger still as you navigate this (what may be your first of MANY issues as an amputee) hurdle.

Remember to breathe, step back from your situation, make logical observations and talk to your medical team.

You and I will get through this.

We are warriors, of course.

Attitude is Everything

Have a beautiful week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

 

 

Enjoying Life

Enjoying Life

Live in the Moment and Experience Your Best Life

 

 

Take a breathe. Now slowly let it out.

Breathing is an automatic response by our body, it knows that we can’t survive without oxygen, but have you ever noticed your breathe being shallow or worse yet, you held your breathe?

We tend to do this in times of stress, anxiety and fear, and yes, we all face some sort of and some level of these moments on a daily basis.

We are actually depriving ourselves of the one thing our body needs to stay alive!

Now, take that and add in the frustration, pain, and uncertainty of losing a limb and trying to “get back to your life”. Also add in, for some of you, the anger you feel if accident or sickness took your limb away and the choice of living a life as an amputee wasn’t up to you. That’s pretty harsh, right?

But, we are stronger than we know. Our bodies and our minds are more resilient than we understand.

We must really make the effort to push forward.

 

 

I named this podcast Be-YOU-tiful Adaptive Warrior because 1) I believe we all have a warrior spirit, 2) that we are beautiful just as we are (no matter how many limbs we have) and 3) we are adaptive beings, no matter what is thrown at us, we are capable of adaptation.

The time is now to live in the moment. Realize that you and your life, no matter what you’re going through, are a miracle and capable of great things.

 

 

Now is the time to enjoy your life and press onward and FORWARD! No use in looking back if it’s just going to cause you pain, stress, and frustration. What’s done is done.

Now we live.

Now we rise up.

Now we embrace our journey, set goals, crush goals and REPEAT!!

You are special and you are strong enough! So rise up, Warriors, and live your best life!

 

Now what?

Ask yourself, “AM I ready to live my life again?”

If the answer is “No”, what is holding you back? You need to address those issues first, just don’t let fear be the reason. We all live with certain fears, the difference: those that press through their fears find the reward of facing them by experiencing a full life.

If your answer is “Yes, I’m ready”, then your next step is to decide what it is that you want to do, where you want to go, what you want to see, and what you want to try.

Make a list.

Decide which ones are plausible now and start creating steps you need to reach that goal and then….

BEGIN TODAY!!

If you want to surf, then you need to build core strength, work on balance, get a surf leg, practice popups on your floor in your house, etc, etc, etc.

Every goals has steps to get to the goal. Break yours down into bite sized pieces and start getting after it.

Remember, you are a miracle, your life is a miracle.

Be present, and enjoy your life. You’ll be so glad you did!!

Write to me and tell me how it’s going, I’d love to hear from you!

And remember you are a Warrior!

Until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Prepping For Battle

Prepping For Battle

Finding Peace and Comfort in This Hard Season

 

How does a warrior prepare for battle?

They need the right kind of armor to protect themself from harm.

They need weapons to defeat the enemy, too.

 

What is your armor?

What weapons do you wield as you go into this new season, this battle, for your health and livelihood?

Yes, you CAN prepare. There are things you can do to build yourself up to being stronger and able to handle the journey you are embarking on.

I am speaking from a perspective that I relate to, that is, elected amputation. Not everyone has this experience, and I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to have that taken from me with no choice, so I will not be speaking of that journey today.

I had four months to prepare, research, interview, seek help, and get a leg up (PUN intended!) on my forthcoming surgery.

I believe there are many things we need to address to feel even somewhat prepared for such a huge life-changing surgery, and even then, you are never going to be completely ready for that day and what is to come in the years to follow, but you might as well start from a positive, strong place.

I address 4 major areas to get yourself prepped for such a surgery: Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Insurance

Yep, Insurance! You are in control of those other areas of your life, but insurance can become the enemy very quickly if you are not researching and doing your due diligence with what your insurance covers…prosthetics are EXPENSIVE!!!

Like I said before, I had four months from the time I scheduled my surgery til the day of my amputation.

These four months were extremely challenging and emotional. I tried my best to stay positive and convinced that this was the right move, but some days were much harder to convince myself than others.

I began to go through the “What if’s….” A LOT! I had fears well up in the night as I lay in the dark and everyone else in my house was sleeping. I struggled with the idea of death, and I worried that I wouldn’t be a functioning amputee. So many questions, and I knew NO amputees at the time. So many fears and so many uncertainties. It was almost unbearable.

But I decided to not let negativity rule my months I had left as a ‘two-legger’, and I began to prepare my heart, mind and body for the battle ahead. And Insurance, unbeknownst to me, was going to be a very grueling battle!

Don’t get caught without a plan.

Don’t get caught without visualizing a better future.

Don’t get caught without setting goals.

These items are your armor and your weapons.

Be prepared, you are, after all, a WARRIOR!

We all have a warrior spirit, some of us just need to believe it to unleash it.

Believe in yourself. You can do this! I believe in YOU, Dear Warrior!

 

 

Start making a plan now, don’t wait!

Prepare yourself by addressing your mental and emotional capacity to handle what’s coming. How? Talk to people. When you talk about it you will find you relax the hold it has over you. I remember when I couldn’t even say “Amputation”, it made it too real if I said it, but that’s what I had to learn to do. The more I talked about it, the easier it became to say, eventually it got me then thinking about what was coming and how I might handle certain situations, like getting in and out of a car, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, cooking dinner while on crutches, etc. I would not have those questions without open conversations with my family and friends.

Physically prepare by building your balance, core strength, and the limb that will be left behind to do all the work.

Finally, insurance. Please do your research. Ask questions about what is and is NOT covered by your insurance. Double check, and even triple check if time allows. The cost is profound, and the average household struggles to afford one.

You are strong enough to go through this, but you must prepare, just as a runner prepares for a marathoner and a warrior prepares for battle. Strengthen yourself and watch a new life unfold in front of you.

Your life is ending or diminished because of amputation, it has just turned onto a new path. And the adventures will be amazing!

So, Warriors, rise up to the challenge in front of you! You are strong enough. You are brave enough. You are ENOUGH!

Until next week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

Independence

Independence

Freedom and Joy in Movement

 

What do you dream about doing or accomplishing?

As amputees we tend to struggle with getting back out there, worried that we won’t be able to live full lives filled with goals set and conquered, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Yes, the first couple of years there is a lot of changes taking place with your body, and a whole new routine of being fitted for your prosthesis every few months, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be getting active and finding the joy of becoming independent once again.

Prior to my amputation I spent 5 years in surgeries, icing and elevating my leg, and going to appointments. I had no time to do anything else, and my life became a series of tasks in hopes of getting better, but not truly living. I had no time to dream about the next ski trip or learning a new sport, I was in survival mode, plain and simple.

However, I set many goals for myself to accomplish by one year post-amputation. I never thought, “What if I can’t do this?” or “That’s not possible.” I just set my goals and worked toward them. No one told me that maybe I was being to aggressive on myself, or that I was dreaming too big. My family and friends just walked alongside of me, supporting me through it all.

What I can tell you about that first year is this: I was so happy! I found joy in life once again! I never looked back with regrets to having had the amputation, and in that first year I knew that I could do anything I put my mind to.

 

Life is meant to be lived fully. I aim to try new things whenever the opportunity arises!

 

The point: We each are traveling on our own unique journey, but we all want to have independence and the feeling of freedom that comes with that, this truly goes for those of us who have been laid up, or stuck in a medical crisis. Setting goals to keep us on track and moving forward is key to feeling the freedom of independence once again.

When I speak to other amputees about what they want to get back to doing to make them feel productive, and independent in life, some of the most basic life skills is what they speak of first; dressing themselves, standing in their kitchen to wash dishes or make a meal. Basic, right? But that’s what makes us feel productive and useful. I know I couldn’t wait to show my family that I could serve them the way I use to, before the accident. And when we experience these baby steps of accomplishment it leaves us thirsting for more!

The goals and aspirations grow and change. As we build strength and stamina, as we get better at using our prosthesis, we begin to really dream of the possibilities. That’s when the real fun begins, and the joy from accomplishing goals becomes a need not just a want.

So, What do you dream about accomplishing? What will give you back your independence or freedom?

Dare to dream because being an amputee isn’t what it use to be. You can do anything you put your mind to, if only you dare!

 

This week I want you to make a list of the things you most want to do. Maybe tasks around the house or at work. Maybe just getting dressed or making the bed. It doesn’t have to be big, monumental tasks or goals, just ones that will make you feel good that you can do on your own again.

It is also ok to add, to your list, goals for the future. Remember, dreaming is what keeps us motivated and moving forward.

Don’t be afraid to add whatever is on your heart. This is a great time to not think about the “how” of these longterm goals, just dream!

Finding independence again, is such a blessing and brings great joy.

Just remember to START WHERE YOU’RE AT.

Know that with these new goals there may be some fear or anxiety, but with anything worth achieving we must all face fears. I do all the time. Just remember what you’re made of. Remember what you’ve been through. YOU ARE A WARRIOR!!

Now make that list and start tackling those dreams!

 

I hope you all have a blessed week, thank you for listening,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

Bunker Hill- 297 steps to the top! I was nervous but I did it!
Times of Struggles

Times of Struggles

Finding Peace in These Moments

 

These are the times I struggle with the most. Yes, it can be nice to have down time but for someone like me downtime can become a bad habit and turn, quickly, into a new way of living.

I realize how hard I push myself, daily. I know I pack my schedule full, every single day. If I don’t keep that pace I truly become an all or nothing kind of person.

Well, I am being tested on my drive and motivation right now. I have been away on vacation, followed by a week+ of being sick, into prepping for my son to head back to college, to hurting my back! These past 3 weeks have been a call, from my body, to slow down and recharge my batteries, and I am trying to listen.

I have guilt for not being there for my horses, and feel uncomfortable in my body for the lack of gym time and hiking.

I know that this is a moment for me to work on my internal self, my self-talk, and my motivation to get back on the horse once I feel better, but it is tough!

When we get to a place of being so super active and it turns to a lot of downtime, it can be hard to feel mentally and emotionally good about ourselves. I know I am always trying to do what I feel I “should” be doing as a mom and wife, but when I am hurting, physically, it makes it hard to be active, and in a good headspace.

Here’s what I have been doing to make the best of my time:

I am cooking for my family,

I am reading my Bible again,

I am reading for pleasure,

I have been writing in a goal setting journal for the gym and food aspect of my life,

I am creating gift ideas for family and friends,

I am planning my seasonal parties,

I am active, in my head, at least.

As for my body, well, that is going to take time with a back that is hurting.

It’s amazing that everything I want to do to be, even somewhat, active takes back strength and control! I tried using my surf board in the pool and the arching of my back on it almost paralyzed me! Sit ups or planks? Forget it, back control. Lifting? No way, my back is always engaged with weights. Walking? I know I am not walking correctly (over compensating for the pain), so I will only create more issues.  This is tough, I won’t lie. But I have seen this before, I have heard from many of you, and what I see is a moment we are given to learn about ourselves, a time to recharge our batteries for something more coming up, a situation that allows us time to regroup and goal set for our future, especially if our future feels uncertain and scary.

This is a time for us to use for the good. Use it to get to know yourself or to realign your life with new goals, hopes or dreams.

Maybe you have felt overwhelmed and unsure of what you are suppose to be doing right now, use this down time as a chance to gain clarity and focus.

You are a warrior, don’t you ever forget that!

I believe in you! Do you?

 

This week, allow yourself the moments you have being laid up to being constructive for your future. You are not being lazy, you are healing your body, you are listening to what your body needs right now. This moment isn’t forever.

Use this time to dream, goal set, find focus, change directions, plan.

What do you want from your life?

What have you been missing out on since you got “laid up”?

You can use this time for positive gains, just in a different way than you thought. You may not be on your feet at this moment, or unable to perform certain tasks right now, but prepare yourself for when your body is ready to get back at it. It’ll be here before you know it!

 

So Rise up, faithful Warrior, and chase your dreams!!

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Walk It Out

Walk It Out

Practice Makes Permanence

It was 1 year post-amputation before I felt confident enough to go out and try a 10K

 

Let’s cut to the nitty gritty.

Practice makes permanence not perfection.

As an amputee it takes daily, mindful practice placing one step in front of the other to get comfortable in your prosthesis.

To take time to practice what feels right and looks right is important to learning the proper gait which in turn will help keep the rest of your body healthy and stronger for the long run.

If you start getting lazy, or not taking breaks and pushing yourself too hard too fast you might find yourself getting tired and losing focus and control over your practice.

This is a journey, not an end game. I am still focused on my gait and I am almost 6 years post-amputation.

Hiking on uneven, rocky terrain takes a lot of practice!

 

See the waddle? I can tell I was being lazy or I was hurting based on this one snapshot.

 

Woah! Working on balance and leg strength is important everyday so you can go off roading!

 

And once again, I try to challenge myself on different terrain. Winter hiking boots on snow/ice! Quite the trek!

 

 

Be mindful as you work on walking.

Pay attention to your hips being engaged and swinging your legs through your step versus swinging it out and around.

Take your steps slow and be patient.

Walk wherever you can and make learning your prosthesis a full time job, it’s important!

Also, be mindful of when you’re getting tired and take a break so you don’t resort to bad posture and gait.

I know you can do it, remember it is a journey and one worth practicing al the time.

Rise up, Warriors, and get to steppin’!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Me and My Guys in Hollywood Studios, FL
Traveling Amputee

Traveling Amputee

Risks and Rewards, Tips and Tricks

Traveled to the “Happiest Place on Earth” as an amputee

 

Traveling is exhausting for anyone. Spending a day in an amusement park can take the most energetic person and turn them into a melt down of epic proportions. Add in the heat and humidity of a Florida summer AND thousands of people and it becomes an challenge that the ordinary person struggles to finish.

Now add in someone missing a leg, dealing with sweating in a prosthesis that wants to shift on you and chafe your leg, sprinkle in the dodging of people who only seem to be concerned with their own schedule, and lines that you stand in, totaling hours, throughout the day and you have one of the biggest opportunities to rise to the occasion and show what you’re made of.

 

The amount of people is amazing!

 

Traveling is fun.

The Jungle Cruise during the final show at Disney World

 

Tron ride was EPIC , and probably to the only ride that me fitting into was questionable, but absolutely doable for even me, an above knee amputee.

 

Traveling is challenging.

Overall, I decided to amputate so I could GET BACK to the life I was living before my knee injury, and that is exactly why I go thru all of those obstacles and challenges.

I WANT TO LIVE!!! Fully and completely.

Golfing is fun but challenging….I love a challenge!

 

Enjoying the rides, like Pirates, with my family!

 

That was an amazing day! Almost 11 miles and one exhausted momma! But look at that view (and ALL THOSE PEOPLE)!

 

What kind of life do you want?

What can you handle?

I have experienced moving around on trips and amusement parks as an able-bodied person, and injured momma in a wheelchair, and as an amputee. This week I give you some ideas of what to expect, what to pack, and how to deal with the ins and outs of highly populated places such as Disney World and Universal.

 

Get ready to pack your bags and begin your journey!

Enjoy the journey. Be present. Live your life!

You can travel, too, just be prepared (oh, and make sure you stretch!).

You may be an amputee but you can still enjoy taking trips.

 

 

This may seem irrelevant to the topic of travel but I assure you it is very relevant: STRETCH!

Make stretching a part of your day, everyday!

I didn’t and my back was screaming at me the day after our 1st park. The way I had to walk, in the heat, around all those people, looking out for myself, and my safety, made my body move in non-natural ways that over the miles and hours of being on my feet really exhausted my back and hips. I had 2 days and nights of phantom pains and back pains and all I could do was push through it and continue with our plans, trying to ignore the pain. On one of the final nights back in our resort I decided to sit on the ground and give my good leg a nice stretch only to realize how very tight I was.

Don’t wait til you have issues like I did. I am now starting to stretch every morning and evening to help my flexibility and my mobility.

Your Call to Action this week is to do the same.

Implement a stretching routine for yourself so you keep flexible. Even 5 minutes a day is better than nothing, so get started, TODAY!!

 

Also, listen into my IG Live chat Un(Limb)ited Conversation this week as Jackie, DPT and I discuss stretches for post-amputation mobility. You can find it on Instagram @BAWarrior360. Every other Wednesday at 4:00 pm MST I hope you join us!

 

OK, Warriors, rise up, and get traveling!

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Have a beautiful week

and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

Not all who wander are lost.

 

 

I See You

I See You

Setbacks Happen, You Are Not Alone

 

The reality is that after your amputation the journey is just beginning.

The journey is filled with ups and downs and everything in between.

I wished I could tell you that once your limb physically heals, from the surgery, that it’s all downhill from there but that wouldn’t be accurate for 99% of the amputees.

Most of us will deal with 2-3 years of limb volume changes making the socket fitting process a true test of patience and resilience.

Add in phantom pains, possible neuromas, skin breakdown, etc and the challenges can seem daunting and never-ending

But have no fear, the journey is not an easy one, but can be so very rewarding.

You should be setting goals for yourself, depending where you are in your journey.

This life is a journey; embrace it, wherever you are at in it.

 

You will build character and learn so much about yourself, too.

I know you are going through some rough times right now, but you’re not alone. I see you. I have been where you are, and I will probably have a rough go at it sometime in the near future.

This is the life of an amputee.

There is beauty in the struggle, though. Your mindset can dictate, and WILL dictate your outcomes.

You have two choices, play the victim or play the hero of your story.

Your mindset matters.

If you are in the middle of a setback in your journey, have no fear. This is the moment to take a breathe, be present, and begin to anticipate what beauty is to come.

What do you want to achieve?

Where do you see yourself once you heal or get past this hurdle?

 

At this moment, when life seems too much and you are frustrated and feeling like you’ll never get back to the way you were before your setback remember that this moment is setting you up for a leap forward and in the right direction.

Get your mindset correct and be ready for the positive changes.

Use this time to create a plan that makes you happy, one that you can be excited about as you anticipate your full recovery, from whatever is holding back right now.

If you visualize a positive momentum to come, you can will it to happen.

Sending your mind positive thoughts and imagery is exactly how to succeed.

Pause in this moment, take a few deep cleansing breathes and prepare yourself for a positive shift.

You’ve got this, Warrior!!! Don’t lose hope.

 

I’m praying for you!

 

Until next time and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

Embrace Your Starting Point

Embrace Your Starting Point


Enjoy YOUR Journey

 

Enjoy YOUR Journey

 

 

This is YOUR life.
It looks like no one else’s and YOU are like no one else in the world….. so why do we compare our journey to everyone else’s?

I understand, when life gets hard, and we see someone kicking butt and everything appears to be amazing for them, we wish that was what we had, but don’t be mistaken. Everyone has valleys as well as mountain tops. When you see someone that makes you wish for things to be like their life you forget that they were probably struggling not too long ago.

You also miss out on YOUR journey and the beautiful moments that are happening to you and around you.

Horse kisses make me happy

 

A wedding dance with my Dad

 

Being with my guys

 

A starting point is the beginning of a new journey. And each of us starts in a different place. Do not compare yourself to anyone else.
Start looking at your life NOT as a derailed train but a new direction to explore, new skills to be learned, and amazing people to meet and gain valuable experiences.

 

 

Find time today to look in the mirror and truly appreciate and embrace this moment right now.

It’s time to climb your mountain, rise to the challenges in life, commit to what you want and consistently get after it.

Embrace your journey.
Embrace your starting point.
Remember anything is possible with commitment and consistency.
Dare to dream and rise up, Warriors!!!

Have a blessed week and as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!

Much love,