Tag: adaptive living

Pain, Perseverance & Possibility

Pain, Perseverance & Possibility

A Thanksgiving Message For Anyone Struggling

 

Thanksgiving week always makes me pause, breathe, and step back into gratitude, but this year, that feeling hit me in a much deeper way. Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was the experience itself, or maybe it was because of everything that led me here—but this past week in Vegas reminded me exactly why I chose this life, and why I continue to push myself to live amplified, even when it hurts.

Our family goes to the Formula One races every year—this was our third—and while we love the energy, the cars, and the whole spectacle of it, it is absolutely not an easy environment for someone with mobility challenges. As an above-knee amputee, I’ve learned that accessibility can be a coin toss on a good day. Vegas during F1 weekend takes that to a whole different level. Elevators that don’t work. Escalators that suddenly shut down. Crowds compressed shoulder to shoulder. Long detours around track barriers. Rain. Stairs. More stairs.

 

 

But this year came with a twist. Not only did we pack in a full day of walking, navigating the Strip, dodging people, climbing stairs, and exploring all the fanfare, but that night, after all of that, I finally checked off something that had been sitting on my bucket list for years: going to a Vegas nightclub.

And I didn’t just go. I went all in—heels, dancing, crowds, the whole thing.

What made the night more meaningful was the backdrop of everything my body was going through. My newest socket, trimmed higher because I’d lost some femur during surgery, still hasn’t fully broken in. The rubbing along my groin becomes a four-inch strip of fire by the end of the day, the kind of raw, stinging pain that makes even a shower burn. Think blister-on-your-heel level pain, except in a place you can never bandage. Add rain, cold weather, slick sidewalks, and 36,000 steps—the most I’ve ever walked in a single day even when I had two legs—and you can imagine how I felt by the time we walked into the club.

But then the music hit. And the energy shifted. Surrounded by my husband and my kids—my favorite people—and swallowed up in the beat and the lights, I felt alive. Not amputee alive. Not “making the best of it” alive. Just fully, completely alive.

In that moment, I didn’t care that no one around me knew I was an amputee. I didn’t care that all my weight was sinking into my good foot, making my toes tingle with pressure. I didn’t care that I had a raw mark on my inner thigh or that I was balancing on heels after a marathon day of movement. I was simply living the moment I had dreamed of for years.

And when I finally got home, when I finally took my leg off and felt that flood of relief wash over my whole body, I laid in bed and thought, “This… this is why I chose amputation.” I didn’t take my leg off to watch life happen from the sidelines. I didn’t choose this path to let pain, friction, or inconvenience dictate my happiness. I chose it to reclaim my life. And nights like that one remind me why I fought so hard to get here.

But here’s the part I don’t ever want people to misunderstand: none of this is easy. I’ve had people say I make it look effortless, or that they shouldn’t complain about their injuries because I “went through so much worse.” But I don’t see it that way. I don’t compare. I don’t downplay anyone’s struggle. And I definitely don’t wake up immune to the hard parts of this life. What I do wake up with is a mindset that says:

I chose this path, so I’m going to show up for it.

That mindset is the difference between living fully and shrinking back from life. It doesn’t mean there aren’t setbacks. There absolutely are. I have blisters. I have raw skin. I have days where I struggle to put my leg on. I have moments where the socket fit isn’t perfect. I have times where the thought of stairs makes my stomach drop. But the alternative—the idea of sitting in a hotel room, letting my family go off and make memories without me—is far more painful than any physical friction I deal with.

That’s why I said no when my husband offered to get me a wheelchair. Not because I’m stubborn, but because while I can, I will. There may be a day when I truly need one. But that day is not today. Today, I push. Today, I build stamina, strength, grit, and resilience. Today, I invest in the future version of myself who might not have the option anymore.

That’s the heart of this whole experience—and the message I want to share this Thanksgiving.

Life will never hand us perfect circumstances. Pain, obstacles, loss, grief, inconvenience—these things don’t discriminate. But neither does opportunity. If you want something badly enough, whether it’s dancing in a nightclub, traveling, adventuring, walking that extra mile, or simply showing up to life with your whole heart, then you owe it to yourself to try. You owe it to yourself to dream. And you owe it to yourself to change the mindset that tells you “I can’t.”

Because “I can’t” is almost always a lie.

“I can’t right now” is more accurate—and far more temporary.

 

 

So this week, I invite you to sit with two things:

First, gratitude.

Not just the obvious stuff—family, home, health—but the deeper gratitude for the strength you didn’t know you had and the moments you didn’t think you’d get to experience.

Second, possibility.

What do you dream of doing? What do you secretly hope you’re brave enough to try? What have you convinced yourself is off-limits?

Write it down.

Name it.

Claim it.

Then take one step—just one—toward it.

Because if a tired, rain-soaked, blistered amputee can take 36,000 steps in a day, climb broken escalators, dance in heels until almost 2 a.m., and fall asleep smiling…

Then you can take one step toward the life you want, too.

 

 

 

Here’s to you and a beautiful Thanksgiving with loved ones.

May you find joy in the moment and gratitude in the little things!

Until next time,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

The Most Wonderful Time of Year

The Most Wonderful Time of Year

Winter Wonders and Woes for Amputees

 

Wintertime brings colder weather, holidays and family time, ice and snow, along with new outdoor activities. It also brings with it challenges for getting around if you are an amputee (or anyone who struggles with balance).

Crutching on snow and ice should be an Olympic Sport

 

I am fortunate enough to live in Arizona but as a family, we love to get out and ski in the mountains of Colorado and Utah.

My very first goal as I was getting ready for my amputation was to ski again with my family. I had just 3 months from amputation to test myself.

Even though there are different ways to accomplish “skiing” I wanted to be standing and looking like I always did as a skier (minus one leg that is). My stubbornness definitely helped me. That plus my perfectionist attitude and drive.

 

 

My first day I was so nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I tell you this because even though I had been skiing since I was 17 years old there was so much relearning to be done and a lot of newness to skiing with only one ski. For instance, turning one way versus another was so much harder not having the downslope ski to aid in control.

As time went by, I began to understand what was needed to succeed. Every chance we got I went on the slopes. And every time I was on the slopes I got butterflies and had to suppress fears of getting hit from behind, falling and trying to get back up (not as easy with one ski and on a slope of snow), or heading downhill and catching icy patches.

There are other ways to ski, like on a mono ski (sitting in a bucket sled, leg(s) strapped down), or using a ski bike.

This past trip we decided to take a day off from skiing, but I wanted to be outdoors and breathing in the cold mountain air and enjoying the snow all around us, so we went for a hike into the mountains.

It was beautiful!

Backwoods hiking

 

Beautiful views, challenging terrain for an amputee

 

Winter life for an amputee is quite challenging. Just as changing our shoes, or going over different types of flooring or terrain, challenges us for a few minutes before we feel comfortable moving about with the change, winter challenges us and our feeling of confidence and trust in each of our steps. We must be more cautious, and meticulous with each step. I am always looking down at where my feet are landing and what type of surface I will be hitting with the net few steps. For me to enjoy the beautiful mountains w were hiking in I had to stop and set myself then look all around. Once I got my fill I would begin to march on once again.

All in all, I am excited for my next winter trip and plan to try snow shoeing and see how it feels to have larger foot on my prosthetic.

Even though there are a lot of new things to adjust to as winter weather approaches, know that you are capable, you just need to learn your perimeters. It takes time, but with focus and determination you can conquer winter without any falls or injury. Always know to protect your good/sound leg and take your time. Don’t allow anyone to push you faster than you are ready to go.

Stay positive and create positive verbal cues for your brain to latch onto and you’ll find yourself maneuvering snowy conditions like a pro!

 

 

FIERCE AND ON FIRE Challenge!

Don’t forget that we are still charging forward on 100 miles before Jan 1!

Are you in?

Check the past couple of podcasts for the link to join and to register for the challenge at Run Motivators if you want to order a medal for your trophy case!!

 

Let’s keep moving and end 2023 active and healthy!

 

May your hot;liday season be filled with family, fun, joy, and blessings of all kinds.

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,