Tag: daily living

Overcoming Fear Part 2

Overcoming Fear Part 2

Fear of Failure

 

A big fear of mine has always been failing, especially in front of a lot of people. How about you?

After becoming an amputee this became the daily fear that would well up inside of me. Every day I put on my leg I had to deal with idea that, as I was learning to walk in it, I just my wipe out.  Then after I got good at walking, I added in the fear of falling with a running blade on, which would make for a more epic fall.

It feels like the normal, everyday, things were now causing my anxiety.

I realized right away that I would have 2 choices:

Stay home, pout, and not get out and work on my new life

or

Get out, try everything, fail, pick myself back up and try again.

On the edge of the Grand Canyon!

 

Me and my bees

 

My new Swell Surf foot, ready for the waves of Kauai

 

My 1st time wadding in a rushing stream, keeping balance, and trying fly fishing! A whole lotta new!

 

As you probably guessed, I opted for the second choice! Get out and LIVE!

This took time, patience, humility, and drive.

It wasn’t easy going into a grocery store with a new leg, knowing people were watching, almost waiting for me to stumble. At least that’s how it felt at first. But I had a family to feed and a husband at work all day. I was not going to be a burden and I was going to learn this new lifestyle, no matter what it took.

As a teacher, I told my students all the time that it’s ok to fail. That’s the only way to learn. It was time for me to take my own advice.

It’s a long road, a hard journey, when learning to walk again. It’s difficult to take an old. easy, everyday task, and start over.

Have grace and forgiveness with yourself. Be patient, like you’d be with your own kids learning something new.

What advice would you give your baby who was just learning to walk? Would you be mad at them for trying their first steps and falling over? Of course not, so why would you be mad, upset, impatient with yourself?

Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves, yet so forgiving with others that we seeing trying and failing?

Remember, it is more rewarding to try, try, try again and get something, than to just be able to do something simple that you get on your first try.

When you are forced to subject yourself to uncertainty, and yet certain failures at first, you are building your experience, you are building your character, and you are building a warrior mentality.  These are the characteristics that will help you succeed at your next task.

Don’t be afraid to get out there and try something new. You never know what will come of your efforts. What I have learned is that with every trial, I became stronger, met new people, inspired others, and found a deep joy for my new life that I wouldn’t change for the world!

 

Deep inside of you lies a warrior waiting to be unleashed! You’ve got this. Face your fears head on and watch how you will transform your life!!!

You are a warrior!!

 

 

This week begin to change your mindset. Speak positively to yourself and then think of 1 thing you have been wanting to do but have been too afraid to try it.

Now make a plan on how to get from point A to point B. Remember to break it down into baby steps. You cvan do this. I believe in you!

Work at it every day, even for 5-10 minutes. Realize that learning to do something new takes failure. Embrace the failures. Even laugh at yourself from time to time. We all fail at first.

Pick yourself back up and start again!

Don’t give up!

You’ve got this!!

 

Until next time,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

The Elephant in the Room

The Elephant in the Room

The Reality of Phantom Pain

 

 

It’s real!

It does exist, and it can come out of nowhere and attack you when you least expect it. Phantom pain is an equal opportunity offender with no regard for who it targets.

Phantom sensation is similar but constant. It’s not about the excruciating pain it inflicts, like phantom PAIN, as much as it’s the never ending, always present tingling, buzzing, and throbbing of the missing body part, (in my case, my lower left leg and foot).

No matter what’s going on, how active I am or am not, or even the weather, phantom sensations are always burning in my foot. At first I didn’t think I was going to be able to take it but I can tell you two certainities:

  1. After suffering phantom PAIN, I will gladly take the sensations!
  2. I find that these sensations are a gift in that they help me to find my footing as I walk because my foot feels like it’s there at all times.

 

Just a reminder, all journeys are NOT the same. my pain tolerance might be higher than yours or your phantom pain might last longer and be more intense than mine, we are all different and how we handle them is also going to be different.

Some people choose to medicate to help with the pain, others use mirror therapy or a neurotransmitter.

Others may choose to use tap therapy, or heat/cold therapy to lessen the intensity.

 

I have a neurotransmitter implanted in my back, but it created more pain than it stopped so I have turned mine off, for now.

I also have chosen to stay far away from medication so I know the true feelings of my pain and learn to deal with them naturally as they come. I spent too many years on drugs to help with all the surgeries and couldn’t wait to get off of them, permanently!

 

Like I said, everyone is different. what works for me may or may not work for you. Only you can decide how to attack these phantom issues. It’s always good to talk with other amputees to see how they are dealing with their pain and what works for them but remember what works for them may not work for you.

I say this so you don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work. You will need to keep searching and trying out new ways to handle your pain based on you. And sometimes something will work one time but not the next time it occurs. Talk about frustrating!!

Phantom pain is for real! It’s vicious, distracting, and debilitating! It can and will try to consume you, and break you, just remember you are strong! You are a warrior!

 

 

This is a tough one.

You will need to get creative and dig down deep!

This is where TRUE warriors are made.

Don’t sit and dwell on the pain, it will consume you and make it harder to bounce back from it.

Find somethings that work for you (I use distraction when I am in a bad pain place-walking, driving in my car, playing music, watching a movie, reading, moving some more, getting to the gym, etc) This keeps my mind active, and distracted. Don’t sit around thinking about it, it’ll only amplify the pain, trust me, I know!

Once you find things you are capable of doing, use these techniques to help you on the rough days. You will find that you will handle the phantom pains better if you have resources ready to be utilized.

And don’t forget to communicate with your family, friends, your support system. Even best laid plans get wrecked, and if you are screaming on the inside, more than likely you’ll start screaming on the outside and the people who you love the most will be casualties to it. Let them know that you are struggling. Phantom pain is invisible to everyone outside of us, they can’t know what we are going through so we must be open and honest, for the sake of relationships.

You’ve got this and you are NOT alone.

Rise up, Precious Warrior, Rise up! Fight your battles with confidence and with the assurance that this too shall pass.

 

As always and until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never Ending Challenges

Never Ending Challenges

When You Least Expect It

Just when you think you are in the clear. Or when you feel like you got it all together….Wham!!!

Yep, life sends you into a new challenge.

I am 4 1/2 years out from my amputation and into my 15th socket I go. However, even though it should have been a simple change as it was just a remake of the socket I was in (the plastic was giving away but still fit) we encountered complications.

Nothing major, but my valve wasn’t working properly for a couple of weeks, which meant I couldn’t wear it, and then once that got fixed the end of my residual limb seemed to be moving too much down inside of the socket, which was creating swelling, which in turn made it worse.

It was a snowball effect. One issue, led to another issue, which led to another issue.

Simple fix. Hmmm.

Ever have that happen to you?

How did you handle it?

What I can tell you is that after 4 years of wearing a prosthetic, I have become more attuned to my body and what feels right, and what I can and cannot handle. These are minor issues, indeed, but if you don’t have the experience (which only comes with time and observations as an amputee) then you may be prone to freaking out about the fit and worried that these issues could get worse and create bigger issues.

I remember the first time my residual limb swelled. I didn’t know what was happening, why it felt weird and hard, and freaked out that I was getting an infection. After all, I had heard of amputees getting infections years after their surgery! YIKES!!

Now that I understand what is happening with my limb, I know how to combat it and when to call my prosthetist for help and adjustments.

 

 

Experience is key, but I share this with you so you understand what can happen, even years later. That you need to build up your patience and knowledge so you can handle these odd moments, because they don’t just stop after the first year.

 

Don’t give up hope.

Try not to get frustrated, and make sure you make time to stop and breathe deeply.

Smile. It helps with your emotional state in the midst of problems, and don’t let fear strike you down. I understand that each new issue is delving into the unknown, but you will survive, and you will rise up again, and again, and again.

 

Remember, you are a Warrior!

Now go out and seize the day!

You are special, unique, and there is only one YOU in this whole, wide world!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

New Chapter, New You

New Chapter, New You

Reinventing Yourself

 

 

What would you do if you have a second chance?
How would you spend your days if you received a new lease on life?
This is how I felt after my amputation.
I realized that the choice was mine and I could do and try anything I wanted and reinvent myself and enjoy new hobbies, sports, and activities.
I wasn’t going to allow my amputation to define me or limit me, it was my time to show myself, my family, and the world what an amputee could do when they put their mind to it.
I was going to prove that life was just beginning, not ending, for me.
The choice was easy for me, but maybe you are struggling with this.
The choice is:
Am I a victim or
Am I a warrior?
Well, I am a warrior and a fighter. If someone thinks I can’t do something, then I will pursue that with my whole heart and rise up to the challenge.
If I am told it can’t be done, I will find a way to accomplish it.
I want to prove that I make the decision on how full my life was going to be, and I was NOT about to roll over and die.
This is my journey.
This is my story.
And I know you can achieve this, too.
You must consciously choose each and every day, to overcome the obstacles and rise up.
It takes a change in your mental game, and goal setting.
You are a Warrior!
You CAN rise up and become whatever you choose to be and accomplish whatever you put your heart and mind to.
This is the moment you can reinvent yourself and live a full AND happy life! I know you can!
You are beautifully and wonderfully made!
You are a WARRIOR!!
It’s time to unleash your inner warrior and watch your life blossom into everything you ever wanted and deserve.
The time is now!
This week put your focus on positive thoughts and goal setting.
What is it that you’d like to try? What would you like to accomplish?
What have people in your life said that you might never be able to do again but you know that if you work at it that you could actually do?
It is time to put the past behind you, forgive and move on, and reinvent yourself!
It is time for you to unleash the warrior within you and shine!
Now it is time to believe in yourself, and live your best life yet!
YES YOU CAN!!!
Today is the day! Now is the time!
Rise up, Warrior, rise up!!!
Reach out to me if you need help, advice, or encouragement! I am here for you!
And until next week and as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
Hug and Kisses XOXO
Reality Check

Reality Check

Are you seeing amputees doing all the things you could only dream of doing? Thinking you are so far behind that you could never get there? Or see them doing amazing things, “pain-free”?
Well, in the spirit of complete transparency, and shedding light of the realities of being an amputee, I have had a hard couple of days.
Yep! Even 4 1/2 years out. Do they happen often, no, but phantom pains, poor fitting socket days and just plain “off” days can come out of nowhere and hit me like a freight train!
This weekend was no exception.
I has been out hiking, doing what I love, and even though it was a tough hike I got through unscathed…. However, the next day, I’m sure my muscles were so taxed that my phantom pain came back in sharp stabbing droves, meant to take me out in mere moments!
The reality check is, we all have our journey, whether you’re an amputee or not. You cannot compare yourself to anyone else, because there is no one like, who went through what you went through, and can handle it like you. Our pain tolerances are different, our illness that led to our condition are difference, our age, activity level and our gender are all different.
Most people think that going through amputation is the hard part, but in reality, it’s the first 1-2 years after, in which you have to get fitted for a socket, place something heavy and cumbersome on your body, and relearn to walk all over again. The fit takes patience and time to adjust, you fall, you get rashes, you break down and get frustrated.  And when you finally get everything to feel “good” you have atrophy and drop weight and your limb changes and you start the whole process ALL OVER AGAIN!!! Sometimes even just 1-2 months after you finally get a good fit!
So whether you are struggling on the path you are on in life, or finding it debilitating to keep moving forward as an amputee, know that this is all part of the journey. You have to experience the ups and downs to learn and become stronger, physically, mentally and emotionally. I can tell you all that I’ve gone through but to truly learn from it and appreciate it, you must go through it yourself. And your journey won’t look like mine or anyone else’s, your journey is YOUR journey. Embrace it and enjoy it for all its worth. You’ll be amazed at the person you’ll become as you wrestle with the challenges you’ll go through.
This week, listen to yourself. Know when you need a break and take it. Spend time reflecting on what’s got you blocked or bound up and know that this isn’t the end, just a hiccup.
Take a deep breathe, and rise up again and give another crack at it.
Baby steps, little by little, keep you moving forward.
Don’t give up and believe in yourself!!
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
Cast Your Worries, Reel In Patience

Cast Your Worries, Reel In Patience

A Fishing Analogy for New Amputees

 

From experience, I KNOW, without a doubt, that there are fish in our lake.

Just yesterday I caught a huge northern pike and released him….. he is in there, waiting for the next lure to tempt him.

How does this relate to amputees and our journey? Great question.

Patience, for one. And knowing how to keep moving forward, even when you feel like giving up, for another.

I must have casted 1000 times in 5 hours last weekend, and not a nibble!!!! 5 hours!!! I’m either totally dedicated to my craft or absolutely crazy! But, I love the POSSIBILTY. The possibility that I could catch a fish, maybe even the biggest fish in the lake (I may be a little competitive 😏) keeps me going.

Not my biggest catch, but I’ll take it as a win!

 

This is the same for amputees. No matter what I tell newbies, until they go through it themselves, it just doesn’t click. Some people think they’ll get through it without a hiccup and be off and running right after they get their prosthesis. What you have to remember is that 1) Everyone’s experience is unique and individualistic. 2) We all atrophy and thus makes our fitting process a challenge, and 3) You don’t know what you don’t know, and it won’t make sense until YOU go through it.

That being said, going through the early moments of becoming an amputee are like fishing. You know that you will be able to walk again, run, hike, bike, swim, etc. You’ve seen tons of other amputees make it, and the prosthesis they are making now are so amazing and helpful to our success. but you also need to remember that you can’t catch the big fish if you aren’t patient, and ready to put in the time.

 

 

Go at it with a positive attitude. Take a step back when things get hard, and you.ve forgotten what WILL be possible. You have to earn it, so to speak, and you’ll be better prepared and ready for future hiccups after going through the first year or two.  But it won’t be easy. You will be pushed to the edge a few times, whether with the way it feels, the fitting, pain, sensations, or a plethora of other things that could happen.  But don’t lose hope. I went through the changes and the exhaustion of never-ending appointments to get the right fit. I went through excruciating pains of a neuroma and the surgery to remove it, along with the setback of healing from that surgery before I could wear my leg again. I understand the heartache when you just want to be and feel “normal” and you just don’t see how that will ever happen for you. It will! I promise. Keep the faith. Don’t take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at those moments. Cry when you need to then pull up your big boy/big girl pants and trudge forward. You will get to where you want to be, but you will work for it, I promise that too.

 

 

 

What I use to tell my students all the time was that if it was easy then you wouldn’t feel as proud of yourself for accomplishing the task at hand. Same goes for us amputees. You will have to overcome some seriously huge mountains at times, but when you are at the top looking back at where you came from, you can be so proud to know that you truly ARE a warrior!!!!

 

I believe in you!

Don’t you dare give up.

Put in the time, practice patience, and know that with time, things will get easier.

 

You are amazing and will accomplish great feats. You only need to be steadfast and patient. Be realistic in knowing that it takes time, but in the end you will succeed!

 

As always, and until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

(Be PATIENT….)

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Patience is a virtue.

 

A few of my favorite things as I sit at the lake fishing

The view is so peaceful

 

Wildflowers everywhere!

 

Prosthetic Parley with Randy and David

Prosthetic Parley with Randy and David

Let’s Talk About Sockets

 

 

 

This week we begin a new series called Prosthetic Parley with Randy and David. My prosthetist will come on once every other month to discuss hot topics that you, the viewers are interested in and talking about. This week we discuss what types of sockets there are and what fit might be right for you and why.
Please keep in mind that these are the opinions of two prosthetists, whom I use and trust, but it is in their opinion. We hope that this educates you enough so you can speak to your own prosthetists and make a positive decision on what would work best for you.
We also dive into Limbs For Humanity, a non-profit that Randy and David, have just begun, bringing prosthetics to people who are not able to get one due to location and financial situations. They work with Rocky Point Medical Clinic in Rocky Point, Mexico, as well as doing good for those here in the states. They are in need of your help so if you have any spare parts or old prosthetics that you are no longer using, please reach out to me or them so we can put them to great use, helping others become active and mobile once again. If you aren’t an amputee and don’t know of anyone with spare parts, financial donations is also a huge help so they can purchase the items they need to construct limbs and sockets.
You can reach them at one of the Instagram accounts below:
@limbmaster
@gogobanks
@thelimbcenter
@limbsforhumanity

Or reach out to me:
@BAWarrior360
@angie_heuser

Check this episode out and if you have any topics you’d like covered in the next episode please feel free to let me know!
#amputeelife #amputeegirl #prostheticparley #thelimbcenter #limbsforhumanity #sockets #abovekneeamputee #belowkneeamputee #bawarrior360 #personaljourney #factsandopinions #discussion #liveyourbestlife #podcast

The guys, hard at work

 

 

Rocky Point, Mexico. Rocky Point Medical Clinic

 

Special shout-outs to Rocky Point Medical Clinic, Lencho at LS Labs, @Alps_south, @collegeparkind, and @b.tyler.hyatt

 

I hope you enjoy this discussion time with Randy and David and may your week be blessed!

As always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

A Season and A Reason

A Season and A Reason

Navigating Friendships Through Life’s Trials

Friends come and go in our lives. Sometimes it’s because of geographical change, and sometimes we outgrow each other. Other times we part ways because there is a fall out, or even a misunderstanding that goes unattended and left to grow. On the flip side, as our stages in life change so do the people who come into it, and a new friendship blossoms in an unlikely moment.

If you have been dealing with a difficult time in your life, you will notice one of two things might happen.

One, certain people will rally around you to assist and be there for you. They check in often, organize other helpers, and even come to help you pass the time. They bend over backwards to make sure you are taken care of, and love doing this for you and your family.

Two, some people will disappear when you need them most. This is heartbreaking because what you thought was a great, solid, and caring friendship is destroyed in the blink of an eye. When the going gets tough…they get going!

 

Now, based on these two descriptions we also need to see OUR side of the relationship. Let’s call this self-reflection time.

How are you projecting your situation out into the world? Who is getting sideswiped by your frustrations, “Debbie Downer” moments, and your wrath?

You see, it takes two. And of course, we know it’s hard to deal with something big that goes wrong in our life. I understand this. I spent 5 years in and out of surgeries, only to come to the realization that amputation was the only way out. I’m sure that I had some “moments” that weren’t so sweet and joyful. However, what was my body language saying? What words and type of tones were coming out of my mouth? Who got hit with the anger, frustration, and disappointment I was feeling in the worst moments on my journey?

Do you see what I’m saying here?

Sometimes we need to correct ourselves, for the sake of the relationship. We need to remember that everyone goes through hard times, unexpected illnesses, and redirections in their journeys. What we can’t do is succumb to the negative emotions at the risk of losing beautiful people in our lives. Negativity kills friendships. Negativity kills relationships. Negativity will keep you down and devour you from the inside out.

Friendships are two-way streets, and we just need to take a look in the mirror to see if what we are putting out in the universe is helpful in growing, and nurturing the relationships we have, or are we using our circumstance to separate us from those that we are closest.

Good friends want to watch you rise up and succeed. Does your personality during crisis mode invite them in to your life or scream at them to get out?

 

 

Take stock in your relationships.

This week make a list of the friends who have entered your life and those who are on their way out.

Next, decide which ones are worth saving and which ones are toxic to your recovery and happiness.

It’s time:

Reach out and love on the friends who mean something to you. Give them a reason to call you friend. We must learn to reciprocate the attention and support.

Cut ties with those who are bad for you. The ones who’d rather see you down and out, the ones who don’t believe in you and have let you down time and time again.

Use this next week to take stock in the true friendships in your life and, if need be, what it’s going to take on your part to nurture them.

 

You’ve got this,

And don’t forget that it’s ok to let go of those who are bad for you. Maybe they were a positive in your life PRIOR to what you’re going through, but they have changed since then. This is tour life, and you deserve to be happy.

 

Best wishes on clearing up your life and the poeple in it.

And as always, until next time,

Be healthy,

Be happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

Breathing Through the Pain

Breathing Through the Pain

Night time visit with my girl
Do you struggle with pain?
Is stress always knocking at your door and trying take over?
Maybe now is the time to try something that can help you through the pain…. How about some breathing?🤔
I spend a lot of time around my horse.
Every morning to be exact.
She brings me to a peaceful place, a place I can forget my problems, schedules, to-do lists, and phantom pains.
I find quiet and calm around her and work on, believe it or not, my breathing!
Did you know that deep breathing can:
*decrease stress and increase calm
*relieve pain
*improve immunity
*increase energy
*lower blood pressure
*improves digestion
Wow!!! That’s a lot of benefits!
We should all be working on our breathing and relaxing, and less time worrying and being stressed out!
Challenge yourself today to build in a breathing routine to your daily schedule and reap the benefits….
This week challenge yourself to spend some quality time…. with yourself.
Choose a quiet place, free of distractions (and your phone).
Find a comfortable position and begin to relax your body and take slow, deep breathes in, filling up your lungs. Then slowly release your breathe out through your nose.
Continue to feel your breathe fill your lungs and find peace and calm in this moment.
Try to do at least 5 minutes today, gradually increasing your breathing time, each day going forward.
Take note of how you feel the rest of the day and as the week goes on.
Don’t stop there! Find the benefits of deep breathing each night before bed and the quality of your sleep…
I dare you!!
I hope you find calm that overcomes your pain, and a peace that allows you to live your best life!
As always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie and Sakari🐴
Spring Cleaning

Spring Cleaning

Cleaning Out Your Mind and Heart to Have a Body Worth Living In

 

 

The sun is shining, and the days are growing longer, it must be spring!

That also means it’s time for Spring cleaning…. no not of your home, but of your mind and heart.

If you’ve been feeling down, and unproductive, or frustrated and frazzled, then it’s probably time to clean out your thoughts and your emotions. Yep, you can do Spring cleaning on yourself.

Too many times we get caught in a hard time and we feel derailed, alone, frustrated, useless, sad, etc., etc. But these hard moments, or circumstances that you have no control over don’t have to be a negative. We can use these times of trial to hone in our skills of being positive, building character and resilience.

However, if we are not careful, we can become our own worst enemy and sabotage our lives, with negativity and worry.

When we take stock of our thoughts and feelings and throw out the negativity, we are clearing out that space for better things.

I challenge you to create a better headspace for you, change your thinking and self-talk, and get yourself moving in the right direction. Your body will thank you!

 

Find your inner positivity and SMILE!!

 

Create a list of the positive and negatives on your heart right now.

Create a 2nd list of the positive and negatives on your mind.

Now go through and figure out what you need to do to eliminate the things that are taking you on a negative path.

Example might be that you are frustrated or embarrassed by your body image. Ask yourself what you can do to change that, it may be taking a walk outside every night, or getting back in he gym, or trying a virtual race, it may also include kicking the late night binge eating you’ve been doing.

Once you’ve gone through all of your negatives, figure out how to make adjustments to your thinking, your habits, and self-talk then create goals for yourself (like walking everyday to change the negative mindset you have about your image).

Use the month of May to kickstart a new healthier, happier you!

Figure out the problem(s).

Make a list.

Create solutions.

Set goals.

Crush goals!

 

Remember that you are amazing, and awesome!

You deserve the very best of you, so don’t settle for anything less.

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie