Tag: empowerment

Climbing Your Mountain

Climbing Your Mountain

How to overcome adversity to reach the top

 

The view from the top is always amazing and one we all strive for but that isn’t how life works, is it?

What happened when we fail, and fall into a valley? Maybe you have a medical issue, or are struggling in a relationship or job, or maybe you became an amputee, like me.

What then?

This is the time to focus on what’s in front of you. You need to figure out your goals and where you want to be and take the right steps to achieve them.

Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?

Of course, in theory it sounds great but putting that into practice, day in and day out is another story all together.

I met an older gentleman at the Y the other day that made me realize that I need to appreciate the season I am in and the condition my body is in. I talked with this man for a bit and saw a yearning in his eyes to be the young buck he once was, one that had strength and stamina. He told me he use to be a body builder and now he was barely lifting any weight. I told him that I was impressed he was there and working out and that he should see that as a victory, he is climbing his mountain.

Is it where he use to be? No.

Is it where he wants to be? No, but he hasn’t quit!

He had been through knee surgeries and several heart attacks and he was at the gym, with his walker putting in the work that he COULD do.
That is amazing!

If we forget to appreciate where we’ve been and how far we’ve come, and living in the moment we are in, we can get lost. We start obsessing on how we aren’t doing what we use to be able to do, and not seeing what we are still capable of doing.

I know that as I get older, being an amputee is going to become hard on me and my body. For now, I work on what I can and embrace what I am able to do. I refuse to look back at a time when I had 2 legs and what I was capable of. Now I see me for who I am and how proud I am of my accomplishments because I have had to work hard, and my mindset has had to become strong.

Some days aren’t easy to handle but I must press on. I try to focus on the mountain top, each day, and strive to live in THIS moment.

Today is a gift and I am alive and capable. Don’t forget how special you are, and how this moment, right here and now, is what matters most.

Embrace it and live! You are a warrior, you are worthy of so much more. Strive for that mountain top and do t look back!!

 

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In The Beginning

In The Beginning

What to Expect as a New Amputee

 

As with anything new there is a learning curve. Becoming an amputee is no different. However, since few people know of anyone that’s an amputee before they, themselves, become one, there are so many questions without answers.

It seems overwhelming, confusing and quite scary.

Have no fear, even though each one of us is very different as we deal with our own amputation, we also have many similar benchmarks or stages we go through.

First thing you need to know is that you will get through this and you are going to do great. If you can embrace that mindset, a mindset of positivity, then you are already on your way to bringing that to fruition.

I believe in manifesting my own destiny and I have deep faith in my purpose and that the journey I am on was set before me by a higher power.

Speak positive and empowering words to yourself, and you will manifest positive and empowering outcomes.

After your surgery you will have time to adjust to your new body image and center of gravity, time to rest and heal, and time to prepare for what’s to come. At this point it’s a great idea to focus on getting some core strength back and balance. These things you can work on as you wait for the fitting process.

Me trying on my very first socket (L) and me a couple sockets later (R). See the weight change?

 

Adjustments are always being made, even when the socket feels right the leg direction can be off (too far forward leaning, not adducted enough). These things depend on your type of amputation and your hip alignment.

 

I’ve been fortunate enough to take my “test socket” home and work out in it to make sure it is made to withstand the riggers of my activity levels.

 

Here’s how my guy, Randy, creates my sockets. He casts my residual limb.

 

Once you’ve been given the green light by your surgeon that you are ready to be fitted for your prosthesis then you will head to your prosthetist’s office, discuss your goals, dreams, activity levels and where you want to be and where you see yourself in the future. This will help them fit you correctly and get you the best prosthesis for you and your goals.

Your prosthetist will create a “test socket” for you-this could take a couple of weeks- and then you will go in, try it on, walk around in it and they will adjust it for a more comfortable fit, then off you go with your brand new leg.

PT should begin at this point, if you haven’t already been working with one to gain core strength and balance.

I know this can be scary and you might feel apprehensive at first but remember, they want to help you succeed at walking and using your prosthesis correctly so you don’t hurt yourself.

Communicate with them, let them know what feels good and doesn’t feel good, what scares you, what you don’t understand, and what you want to be able to do. Discuss your dreams and goals with them.

Now as you start using your new leg you will start noticing changes in your volume of your leg. The more you start doing life again the more your volume of your residual limb will change and then you run into the frustrating aspect of being an amputee, the socket fit.

You can literally get a brand new socket made to fit your leg perfectly and the very next day it won’t feel as snug. You’ll start to add socks on top of your liner, one after the next, just to accommodate your leg shrinking in size. The more socks you use the less connected you will feel and then you won’t trust your prosthesis to stay in place and behave the way it should.

But don’t worry, your prosthetist will be taking measurements and once those measurements align with your insurance company’s guidelines you can be fitted for a new socket.

The problem?

It is the whole process all over again!

You get a new casting of your limb (some cast, some use digital renderings, just depends on what they like to use), they create a new “test socket” and adjust it to fit nice and snug. Next they create a new final socket and you go back in, try it on, walk around, make adjustments and then you’re on your way…..until this one begins to fit poorly.

The reality: the first 2-3 years are a series of nicely fitting socket, loosening, refitting, recreating, and then all over again.

I, myself, went through 16 sockets in the first 3 years!

The sooner you know and understand this sequence of events, the better it is for you to mentally grasp the journey so these moments don’t gut punch you and make you feel like a failure, or that you’re doing something wrong, or that this is heading down an irreversible path.

Embrace this journey.  It is unique and challenging, but you will learn so much about yourself and build so much character, and experience, so quickly.

No one has the same experiences as they become an amputee but this is a basic outline of some pretty typical moments you will see to some degree.

Just remember you are stronger than you think and you will make it through this.

 

 

Plain and simple, this week I want you to face those fears.

I know you and see you. You are getting ready to head into your first physical therapy and have no idea how you will manage. You are worried you won’t be able to tolerate the leg, that you aren’t strong enough or even brave enough for this life….but you are!

As I tell myself when I encounter something that puts fear into my heart and doubt into my brain, “One step at a time, Ang”.

I can do anything, one step at a time.

One Step At A Time. Yes, that can be a metaphor, but I mean it literally.

You will NOT be asked to do stairs on your first day of PT, nor will they ask you to try running.

Baby steps is how you start. Just as a small child learns to crawl before they stand, stand before they walk, and walk before they run, you too, will go through these sort of “baby steps”. You are doing something for the first time. It takes, strength, balance, mobility, and practice to get it right, and even then you still won’t have it down. I still catch myself not walking with a good gait and making corrections. That’s ok, it takes time.

Enjoy the journey.

Embrace what scares you and make the most of these moments.

You can do this, look how far you’ve already come!

 

Have a blessed week and get after it!

Rise up, Warrior, rise up!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Picking Apart Phantom Pain

Picking Apart Phantom Pain

The Real Mental Side of Phantom Pain

 

Ok, let’s talk about Pain. Not just any pain, but the “real” phantom pain.

It comes on without warning.

It can destroy our mood, our productivity, and our confidence.

When it does happen, and for amputees we will all have the pleasure of experiencing it at some point on our journey, it’s enough to cause us to doubt we will ever be able to function again because we can’t see an end to it in sight. It’s the most disabling thing about being an amputee because we cannot control it.

Just two weekends ago I experienced one of my many episodes of phantom pain. I was fine when I woke on Sunday morning, enjoyed a few hours of “normalcy” then out of the blue, like lightning strikes, I was seized with a multitude of sharp, knife driving pains, in the bottom of my non-existent foot!

At first it was just startling and I was wracking my brain as to why it might be acting up. You see, for me, I know what things might cause me to have a flair up of pains from the activities of the day or night before, but not this day. Nothing I could have done would prepare me for this nor could I comprehend what had made these phantom pains come on.

As the day wore on these flashes of pain came more sudden and more often. They are so real feeling that my “foot” was getting sore from all the stabbing.

The prickles on the cactus and thorns on the tree remind me of the sharpness of my phantom pains

 

If that isn’t a mental attack on the brain I don’t know what is!

If you are an amputee you need to make sure you have a toolbox of info and memories to use as you navigate throu9gh each episode of phantom pains.

Join me today as I discuss what a toolbox is and how you create one.

Remember to be kind to yourself when these pains hit. They will try to crush you and break your spirit but you can and will get stronger with each experience. Just know that it’s ok to shut down for a while as your head tries to understand what’s happening to your body.

You are strong enough and you will make it through.

These episodes don’t last forever, and you will soar once again.

 

Be the warrior you were meant to be and rise up!

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

much love,

 

Dress For Success

Dress For Success

An Equine Analogy For Your Motivation

 

 

You must look the part.

You need to rise up, clean up, and organize yourself if you want to achieve and succeed.

Trust me I know!

Today I found myself entranced on how much time I spend with my horses grooming them.

Why do we do that? Why do we spend so much time brushing them, wiping their faces down, conditioning their mane and tidying them up? It’s not like my horses are heading out on the town nor are they saddled and transported where others will see them… then why?

 

Getting in the Christmas Spirit last year

 

I’ll tell you why, because that keeps them looking kept and neat. It keeps them healthy and clean. I brush them, I wash them, I wipe out their nostrils and eye ducts, I clean out their hooves, all in the name of health. We need to do the same, especially when we aren’t feeling great. When we are down and out, our health depends on it, our outlook on life depends on it, and ultimately our success depends on it. It’s so easy to take the road less traveled when we are hurting and not at our best. When life throws us curveballs and tries to take us down that’s when we need to fight harder, rise quicker, and move forward. When we get wrapped up in negativity and cave to the easy path, or path of least resistance, we tend to let oursleves go, let our homes go and stop really living. That’s when we allow life to pass us by, while we wait for something better to happen to us or for us, for our situation to resolve itself. However, that’s not living life, that’s giving up and hoping things work out.

We need to rise up each day and prepare for life. We need to clean ourselves up, we need to make our bad, we need to get out and MAKE life happen! We all have issues. We will all have problems that arise, but the ones who succeed adjust and fight for what they want. The ones who succeed are the ones who dress for success, each and every day, despite what’s happening, despite the pain and frustrations they are going through. How about you? Are you “dressing” for success each day? Are you preparing for good to happen? That is the key.

I clean my horses up every single day so they are clean, healthy, and happy. When they get the grooming they need they can then attack the day with confidence and pride. Shouldn’t you be the same, if not more motivated to do so?

You are a warrior. Warriors plan for success and it starts with your physical appearance, at the very least. Start there and see where it takes you in life. You might be surprised.

So warriors, rise up and take on the day! You deserve that!

 

 

This week, take care of yourself, starting with your appearance-your physical self. Get up, get ready for the day, make your bed, and go do something.

Be active in your life.

Make life happen FOR you, not TO you.

Stop waiting for right time, the next day, or when you’ll feel better.  Sometimes we need to just start something positive and good with the simple act of looking “put together”, ready to tackle the day. That is your challenge this week.

Go get after life! You’ll be so glad you did!

 

Be an active

As always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

Compete

Compete

Find Your Purpose, Set Goals, and Get to Work

This is me BEFORE my knee injury that led to amputation

Competition gives you focus and direction in life. It helps to define your day, provides a sense of purpose, and helps build character and resilience.

All my life I have been competitive. I had big brothers around always “toughening me up”, and sports were an every moment event, whether competing on our home basketball court or joining teams that played every weekend.

I think these moments served me well, and prepared me for a life after limb loss.

For some of you, the journey has been a long and hard one. It hasn’t been easy and you may feel like giving up.

Maybe you even think that “this is as good as it gets”, but I’m here to tell you, DON’T GIVE UP!!!

You can do this! Last week I talked about mindset, well, this is the time to put your mindset to the test and work on positive self-talk.

 

 

On the hard days, when things hurt or you feel out of sorts, or maybe you are not at a point of wearing your prosthetic yet, you may get discouraged…heck! Maybe you ARE discouraged. Now is the time to buckle in and dig deep. This is the time to set those goals and reach for them.

When I find myself in the struggle where pain is winning and I feel like doing nothing and getting depressed about this moment in life that things aren’t going as planned, that’s when I find something to take my mind off of it. I usually find something that brings out the competitor in me. This gives me a goal, a purpose, and consumes my time which takes the attention off of what I’m struggling with.

 

How about you? What do you do to fill your time? Give yourself purpose? Or distract your thoughts changing them into a positive flow?

 

 

Now it’s your turn.

Let’s turn your situation into something positive and meaningful, even if you feel like everything is going wrong and you aren’t where you want to be.

 

Set goals.

Be realistic but challenging.

If you aren’t able to wear your prosthetic just yet then don’t get down on yourself, remember life is a journey, the good and bad of it, so make some lemonade while you wait.

Once you’ve reached those goals, then go ahead and set more. Keep creating challenges for yourself. Setting yourself up for success in the waiting will eventually make you see that you are not waiting for life to happen to you anymore, but that you are living it.

 

Enjoy the process.

You deserve it and you are strong enough.

You are a warrior!

Hope your goal setting is epic just like you!

And until next time, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

Believing in Yourself

Believing in Yourself

Your Mindset is Your Greatest Asset

 

When it comes to getting it done, or being challenged to push through something tough in life, how do you fair?

Do you struggle to feel accomplished?

Do you feel like you are drowning and there is no way out?

Or how about giving up because the going got tough?

 

 

If this sounds like something you have been through before, or are going through currently, then it may be time to check your mindset and your self-talk.

There is no denying that life will through you curveballs.

Back in 2013 as I was literally kicking butt in karate for my 2nd degree black belt, I would never have thought I would have hurt myself, gone through 10 surgeries, gained almost 60 extra pounds and then elect to amputate my leg above the knee.

Just writing that sounds absolutely crazy and a horrible fiction story. But that was my reality.

Those were tough days, months and years- five years to be exact, and making the decision to amputate wasn’t the end of that journey but a beginning to a whole new shift in my life. I still had to struggle with pain, swelling, adjusting to my new body image and learning to love it. I had problems with fitting prosthetics, I had a huge neuroma that a year after my amputation I went under the knife again and had it removed. Through all of these trials, however, I was being conditioned and building my resilience to my new lifestyle.

Each of these steps I had to figure my way through physically and mentally.

Each of these moments was leading me to a better understanding of myself, my tolerance, showing my strengths and my weaknesses, so I could become better at handling the curveballs of life.

What did I find that helped me?

 

 

 

MINDSET MATTERS!

What I tell myself, how I speak to myself with my inner voice (and sometimes my outer voice). I realized that my words and thinking  could lift me up and allow me to soar,  or it was going to be my demise with negativity. Through trial and error I learned and grew.

I take challenges head on now. I am competitive with myself, and I know that my mind, my energy, and my will to succeed has brought me through tough times. I believe how I think is what has made becoming an amputee a life giving second chance for me versus my undoing.

 

 

I am no one special, but my ability to see the positive in my situation has helped me become more successful as an amputee.

It hasn’t been easy, even though it may appear that way. What you perceive as me “easily” going through something really hard has had it’s challenges, it’s pains and problems, I have cried and I have been angry, but at the end of the day I choose positive!

 

How about you?

 

 

I didn’t add a Call to Action in my podcast, forgive me. Got out of practice with April being all interviews but here’s one for those reading my site.

 

Check your attitude today.

What’s your mood?

How do you feel about yourself and your situation?

Now ask yourself if you can control what’s happening?

If you cannot control what is happening to you then this is a great time to practice patience, positive self-talk, getting active to change your thinking, and setting some goals to keep yourself motivated during the hard days.

You will get through this.

You were designed to be stronger than your circumstances, you only need too believe in yourself.

You are special!

You are unique!

You are loved!

 

Have an amazing week, be blessed.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

“Normal”

“Normal”

Don’t Be Normal, Just Be YOU!

 

A word I try very hard to stay away from using in dialogue is “Normal”, as in, “Is it normal that I haven’t healed yet?” or “Is it normal to feel this way?”, or even “Does my limb look normal to you?”

 

The reason I stay away from it is because we are all so very different that there cannot be a NORMAL, or Norm.

We all heal differently, we feel pain differently, we became amputees because of different reasons.

We are different sexes, ages, fitness levels, etc, etc, etc.

I say just be YOU!

Learn what your new “normal” is, and how that changes day to day or even hour to hour as an amputee. Only you can decide what doesn’t look or feel right for you and your circumstance. And when in doubt, don’t ask Social media, call your doctor or medical professional.

 

 

 

 

This week practice keeping “normal” out of your conversations and just listen and tune into your own body.

Accept that you are uniquely and wonderfully made and there is only one you and YOU are normal, for you!

Have a blessed couple of weeks as I will be off next week doing family time.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

 

 

Love Is In the Air

Love Is In the Air

Self-Love for the Win

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”

                                                                                                          -Lucille Ball

 

 

This Valentine’s Day start with YOU!!

To love oneself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

It’s necessary for your mental health.

It’s necessary for your productivity.

It’s necessary for you to be able to love others, fully.

Have you ever truly listened to your inner voice? Pay attention, because what you say to yourself is crucial to your love and success in life.

We can be so critical of ourselves and fall into the trap of negativity that we can’t even realize our true potential. We compare ourselves to others, and we begin to doubt our abilities, our size, our beauty, our intentions, our very existence.

We are constantly bombarded with everyone’s successes and filtered pictures, great vacations and good deeds in the snapshots of social media that we lose sight of our own beauty (inside and out) and our worth in this world.

You are unique!

There is only one ‘you’ and you should be celebrated.

You are worthy, beautiful, a warrior, and special.

You must first find, within yourself, the joy of self-love before you can truly find joy in life. However, this does not come easy and can change and challenge you daily.

Are you listening? What are you saying to yourself? Is your self-talk positive or are you speaking negatively?

As an amputee, and being a part of this unique community, I can see first-hand how I could be negative and self-loathing. The world tells me that my body image is suppose to look a certain way, and I no longer conform to what is “acceptable”. Talk about a hard, internal battle. I stand in a grocery line only to see a size 2 woman on the cover of every magazine, looking gorgeous and happy. I don’t look like them, and I never will again.

I must fight the urge to compare myself, and fight to be positive about who I am, inside and out. This takes practice, perseverance, and fearlessness.

This Valentine’s Day I challenge you to love yourself FIRST! Find joy in who you are, how you were made, and believe that you are enough, JUST the way you are.

Valentine’s Day, this year, start with you….for the win!

 

Wake up and feel the breathe in your lungs.

You have a purpose!

Today, and this week, figure out what your purpose is and start by loving yourself. Love the good you can do and the good you can put out into this world.

When you love yourself you will find that you can be a light, bringing happiness and hope to those who are lost.

Listen to your inner voice and decide if you hear positivity being spoken. If not, it’s time to switch that up.

Begin with telling yourself:

“I am beautiful/handsome”

“I am strong”

“I am worthy”

“I have value”

“I am smart”

“I am compassionate”

“I am funny”

“I am kind”

“I am fearless”

“I am a Warrior”

“I am ENOUGH!”

Write these words down. Speak these words out loud when you need to hear them.

Find your strength and self-worth from within and not from the world around you.

You ARE enough! Believe it, and begin this Valentine’s Day by loving yourself first and watch how your life changes for the better.

Rise up, Warrior, and know you are loved!

 

Until next week, and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

Insurance Games

Insurance Games

Playing To Win; Playing For Your Future

 

Dealing with insurance can be tricky and often frustrating. I speak from experience.

It’s unfortunate that insurance companies make it so hard to understand the ins and outs of their policies as well as getting approvals especially since those who are trying to get covered are often going through really tough emotional times.

As I got myself prepared for my amputation I was doing everything to prepare myself, mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially seeing as this would be a forever life changing surgery.

My experience was not smooth, nor was it kind, but I figured out how to handle my situation, found my voice, and fought for what was right and what I needed.

Join me this week as I take you on my journey with the games that insurance companies play, and how you can play and beat them at their own game.

 

This is what I fought to get……

 

So I can do this….

 

…And this

 

….And this

 

…And this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are you fighting for? And if you’re not fighting for what you want, then who will???

 

Randy and David at The Limb Center and also Limbs For Humanity

 

 

This week, if you are in the middle of a big decision that takes medical insurance, make sure you do your homework and get confirmation about what is covered.

If you have been told “No” by your insurance company then it’s time to fight for what you want and need.

We must fight for ourselves, because only we know exactly what we need and want to make our lives worth living.

Help yourself by fighting for your future. Don’t give up, and don’t take “No” for an answer!

You are a warrior and you are WORTH IT!!

 

Have a blessed week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,