Tag: never give up

Don’t Let Pain Gain Control

Don’t Let Pain Gain Control

 

This has been a weekend!

Everything was set up perfectly. A family getaway for a long weekend, before our youngest goes back to college, and bringing the dogs to see the ocean for the first time. I couldn’t be happier!

We got to Carlsbad, California Friday late afternoon and took our pups for a walk. Dinner came and we fed them as normal but around 9:00 pm my year and half old pup started acting really weird, almost drunk. She tanked quickly after that, just as my boys were arriving. I called the All night pet ER and asked a few questions and was told by the doctor on call that she could’ve gotten into illicit drugs around the beach! Are you kidding me?!?!?

We took off for the clinic and when we arrived her heart rate was 160!

They gave her a sedative and took a urine sample to test.

We held her and waited. They continued to monitor her heart rate, which thankfully came back down to 70-80 bpm.

This is how our family vacation started! Needless to say I was completely stressed out and afraid for our pup. we brought her home where I monitored her all night long with no sleep….

Now let’s get to the pain part of this story.

 

Don’t get wrapped up in the moment of pain. Look out and see the beauty around you and a future that will get better.

 

This was the first full day in my newest socket since my surgery, add in the stress from the night and Saturday was painful! Phantom pains grew and I started to get a raw mark on my thigh from the top of the socket, plus for added fun, a stomach ache. I was a hot mess!

I did everything in my power to stay positive, deep breathing often and enjoying our beautiful view, but damage was done.

I didn’t get in the steps I had hoped I would get this weekend but I will take a small win- I wore my prosthesis everyday all day, even when I just wanted to take it off.

I let my husband know the pain I was in on Sunday as our kids were packing up to leave for home. I wanted him to know why I was a bit quieter than normal but that was it. I didn’t speak of it any other time, why? I won’t allow pain to gain power on my life. Even on those hard days. If it’s so bad that I can’t walk then I focus on what I can do to have a “win” in my corner-wearing it all day.

Our mind is so very powerful and when we allow pain to take over, consuming us, talking about it often and at every turn, that’s not healing that’s sabotaging yourself.

It’s ok to get quiet in those moments and allow yourself to muscle through hard times, just know that they will pass but talking about them can set you back and hold you down, downing you in the pain. It can be almost impossible to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

What do you do to help yourself in the midst of pain?

Do you give yourself grace knowing it’s a part of life or do you get consumed by pain?

What are steps you take to get your mind right when it seems impossible?

Do you have a good support system to help you navigate life during these trials?

Don’t give up, Warrior, this too shall pass.

Reach out and tell me how you are managing your setbacks.

And remember, you are stronger than you think.

Have a blessed week and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

 

To Revise Or Not To Revise

To Revise Or Not To Revise

That is the Question

Amputation is a difficult road, one that can change direction quickly, even after you heal.

For many amputees the surgical side of their life isn’t over. Many of us end up needing a TMR surgery or even a revision, while others will have to amputate even higher! Going from a below knee to an above knee amputation is life changing because one amputation is completely different from the next. What is required of you to be able to walk again, heal again, and trust again takes its toll.

So why do revisions happening? Why are they required for so many?

For some people their bone density is compromised. For others, bones spurs grow causing pain, And still others, myself included, find foreign objects left in their limb that no longer serve a purpose and only cause distress for the nerves. There are so many reasons that revision is brought up in doctor offices around the world and so many amputees who find it hard to wrap their head around being opened up again.

 

 

This past summer, just 8 weeks ago, I had this very choice. I was a possible candidate for an experimental surgery that I wasn’t sure the rewards were worth the risks, until we did a CT scan finding a foreign object coming out of my femur, causing the pains I have been dealing with for 6 years!

But what if your story isn’t so clear cut? How do you decide that revision is right for you?

 

 

 

Make a list of pros and cons about your revision.

Compare them and talk about them with your family and the people who support you.

Be open minded, not all revisions are necessary and timelines change.

Allow the chips fall where they may and be attentive to what’s going on around you: how have you been feeling, how’s the pain, is there something specific that you really must have done (maybe you have an underlying infection-you don’t want to wait on that one), maybe you’ve been promised a “nicer” looking residual limb.

Whatever it is, weigh that in your mind and on your list, and ask, is it necessary, and if the surgery doesn’t go as planned are you ready for that outcome?

And finally, something I’ve always believed in, Mindset and Manifestation.

 

 

Make your decision then, if you’re going for it, leave the “what if’s” behind and start setting your goals and VISUALIZING your successes post-revision. Your brain is powerful and where you led it, it will follow!

You are stronger than you know, dear Warrior!!!

It’s time to rise up!

Have a blessed day,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

Make It Personal

Make It Personal

Amputation is a tough road. If you make the decision to amputate or if your limb is taken from you by accident or disease it’s a bumpy ride, right from the get go.

Most people assume that once you get through the surgical part and physically heal that you are back to life as usual. that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

As an amputee with 6 1/2 years of experience I can tell you that once I healed and was able to get fitted with a prothesis my journey of ups and downs was just beginning.

The one aspect that I am extremely grateful to my GP for pointing out to me was insurance. Even though I had my head wrapped around the idea of taking my leg, and I knew I had the grit and determination to tolerate all the limb changes that were coming, I needed to be sure that A) I knew what type of prosthesis I needed to live an active life and B) that my insurance covered it.

What I fought for:

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was the beginning of the most emotional and draining 4 weeks of my life. This was a fight I wasn’t prepared for, even though I thought I was.

This week I take you through what I did to cover myself, (or at least thought that I was covered), what happened that spun me out of control for 4 weeks, and how I bounced back to fight for the leg I needed to live a good and healthy life.

You may have to deal with this for yourself or someone you love, it’s good information, and from someone who now has to fight every 3 years to get the leg she needs to be mobile and I hope that my story helps you in your fight.

“No”should never be the answer when someone wants to be as mobile and healthy as they can be. We must learn how to prepare to face the insurance giants and how they work so we can be ready to stand up for ourselves and the lives we want to lead.

It’s no easy task but it is one worth our time and energy.

Remember the old saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil?” That became my motto that entire month I fought for my prosthesis.

Are you facing this blockade in your future, or even right now?

Check out how I went to battle and what you can do to prepare yourself.

 

 

Let’s get prepared!

First, understand your insurance plan. Look for what is covered under external prosthesis devices and what is needed to be approved, usually notation from doctor of it being “medically necessary”.

Second, get with your prosthetist and find out exactly what type of prosthesis you’ll be getting according to what your lifestyle was, what you dream of doing, and what you will be capable of (Usually you’ll take a K level test to determine your ability-my PT did this with me).

Third, get the code(s) that can be tricky and denied by most insurances and start making the call to your insurance company and ask if it’s covered by your insurance.

I even went to the extreme of calling my insurance company multiple times over the 4 months before my surgery to hear different employees tell me that “Yes, that code is covered.” Now they had it on recorded phone calls (Important to know that all calls are recorded, however, if you ask for the recordings they will tell you that your lawyer will have to file for them!!! Yes, I asked because I thought I was going to have to sue them for undo stress!).

This should be a great start to getting your approval, but even though I did all of these things, I actually got a big ‘ole “NO!” after my amputation… and while I had done my due diligence I hadn’t planned on my insurance company changing the wording on my plan after the first of the year to NOT include the code that was previously approved.

These are the unknowns you can’t prepare for but must find it in yourself to fight beyond that. You need to connect with people that can help, your doctor, your prosthetist, the prosthetic company even has their own insurance coordinator, and MAKE IT PERSONAL!

I made sure the calls I made to supervisors every day that month that I told them who I was, about my family, and my hopes and dreams I had for my future. You are NOT a claim number you are a person with a life. Make them see that and feel that.

 

These are just some starting points but I hope they help you navigate the crazy world of insurance claims.

Now get up and fight for your life of your dreams!

Don’t take No for an answer, dear Warriors!

Rise up and fight!!

Have a beautiful day and as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

 

The Secret Sauce

The Secret Sauce

Letting Go and Leaning In

 

I have been an amputee for 6 1/2 years, but before that I had a taekwondo injury that took me through 5 years, 10 surgeons and 10 surgeries, plus a blood clot to decide it was time to start living again and make the biggest decision of my life.

Alone in the decision, I was not. I had an amazing support system with my husband, two boys and my family back home. I had friends rallying around me and a church I belonged to. However, I was exhausted.

I had put so much energy into saving my leg that I had depleted all of my positivity and resolve. How was I ever going to come terms with cutting off my leg?

Today I want to share with you all my story of Faith. I feel it is time to be true to myself and honor my beliefs.

I could NOT have done this without my “Secret Sauce”.

I get asked a lot how I handled making this big decision and how I keep going despite the pains and trials of being one leg down. I did NOT do it alone, but it takes something more than cheerleaders in my life. No, my “secret sauce” is greater than anything else, greater than my own drive or perfectionism. I needed to find peace and purpose in my decision.

If you are struggling my hope is that this brings some answers and help for you. Maybe you are curious as to where my positivity comes from or my resolve. Today I share my profound experience with my Faith that changed EVERYTHING in a moment…and I have never looked back.

I hope my experience helps you and opens a door you never knocked on. Let me know. Reach out to me with your own profound experience with faith over fear, or just let me know how you struggle. I would love to help you through my own challenges. There is no need to go it alone or to feel abandoned. You have a great cheer;eager in your corner that wants you to live a great life. Trust and look up, Warriors!

 

I hope you all have a blessed day and as always,

‘Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be You!!

 

Much love,

Hand Me That Weight

Hand Me That Weight

We Need Each Other

 

 

We are creatures built to live in community.

This gives us a safe place to celebrate in great times, gain support in the bad ones, and everything in between.

Talking with people, sharing our journeys and stories, our ups and downs with others, plus listening to our friends and community during their moments is a beautiful symphony of give and take that allows us to feel valued and to give value to others.

I feel that when I hear people struggling that the one thing they are missing is connections with others and the outside world. I notice that about me too.

This past week after sutures were removed I decided I was in need of MY community,  the gym.

 

First day back at the gym since surgery on June 20

 

Despite the nerves I was feeling about walking thru the doors, missing my leg and clomping around on crutches, I felt at home and ready to push myself again.

People who knew me “showed up” for me with thumbs up, smiles, and positive comments that made me feel valued and supported. I was on cloud nine and pumped to be back again!

Those endorphines were ROCKIN’!

How about you?

Are you feeling alone and stuck?

Check below for some tips:

 

 

You were meant to deal with life in a community.

It doesn’t have to be huge, just people who love you, support you, are real with you, and hear you.

It is also. place where you can reciprocate those values through being a great listener.

Remember; Give and Take.

So this week, FIND YOUR COMMUNITY!

Women amputees, join my virtual meet ups through Facebook Events on Zoom, every Wednesday at either 4:00 pm or 8:00 pm EDT.

Pick up the phone and connect with a friend.

Get back to what you love, even if you’re on crutches or in a wheelchair. Time to ditch the vanity, and embrace the moment you are in right now, it won’t be forever. And if it is, even more reason to embrace it NOW! This is you, time to move forward.

If you like the gym, find a way to get there.

If you love book clubs, join one and create a new community for yourself.

Maybe you have a neighbor who would love some company, wouldn’t you?

It’s time!

Community also means you have people from whom you can ask help. I know for many of us, asking for help looks like we are conceding and are weak, but I am learning that asking for help is a sign of growth and knowing that in this moment, I can’t do everything I want to be able to do. You aren’t giving up or quitting, just accepting limits right now.

So get out there, connect, make new friends, reach out to old ones and live your life where you are at right now! Don’t wait for things to be perfect, that time will never come.

Make your life what you want, start now.

Rise up, dear Warriors, you are worthy!

 

Have a blessed week.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

 

 

 

Choosing the Hard Road

Choosing the Hard Road

Starting Over Isn’t Easy

 

Who would choose to take a harder road, isn’t life hard enough?

And who would decide to start over after working hard to be high functioning?

What would possess someone to put that sort of challenge in front of them?

Last October I was approached by Dr. Carty’s office, in Boston, if I was interested in doing a study with them. I decided to learn more and had an hour long phone interview with his assistant. This interview led to a second interview with Dr. Carty himself, which inevitably led to a final face-to-face appointment with Dr. Carty, and a decision had to be made.

 

Dr. Matthew Carty

 

Ironically, before having the initial interview I was doing just fine where I was. Yes, I had pains, but I thought they were pretty normal and unavoidable for an amputee. However, from October to January I started having more pains and some really strong break through pains, finally ending with a huge blister on the end of my residual limb. That’s what led to my prosthetist making me a new socket.

My thoughts were leaning more towards doing this study, which entailed reopening my original amputation and having some reconstruction done. I knew something wasn’t totally right in my limb so I asked to be checked for a possible neuroma when I went in for my face-to-face appointment. If something showed up then I was ready to have the surgery, and sure enough we found something….

There was a foreign object hanging out of my femur with a bursa surrounding it!!! I was stunned and decided right there that I was going through with this surgery.

 

Post surgery walk with PT

 

It seems pretty obvious to have a surgery, but the fact is, it was a big decision.

This not only affects me but also my family.

It also sets me back several months and begins the process again as if I am a new amputee. That is quite the undertaking, for a second time, and I’m not getting any younger.

So why?

Released from the hospital-the smile says it all!

 

My belief is that we can learn so much about ourselves when we face adversity. We also grow so much more when we are up against hard times. Since becoming an amputee back in 2018 I have met some amazing people, found a deeper and more meaningful purpose in helping people, started this podcast and created a women’s chat group. My life became richer and changed me, and I saw what I was meant to do in this life. With this mindset I couldn’t help but see God’s hand in this setup this time around and I truly am sitting here ready to accept the challenge, grow stronger and spiritually deeper, and accept what is to come, knowing that there is a greater plan for me than I could ever imagine. I wait excitedly for who will come into my life and how this new path will mold and change me.

 

Life on one leg again… this will be at least an 8 week lifestyle.

 

I accept this challenge with the hopes of becoming a better person and gain more experiences to help others.

This is why I chose a harder path, the path that includes pain, setbacks, change and uncertainty.

I believe that growth happens when we step out of our comfort zone and take chances.

I believe God has a plan that is far greater than I could ever create or imagine.

I choose to believe that I am a warrior, ready for the fight and ready to rise up again, stronger and even better than before.

How about you? Are you ready to accept the challenge that is in front of you?

 

Are you in a place that you have a setback? Are you struggling to find the motivation to rise up and unleash the warrior within you?

This week I want you to focus on 2 things:

Your nighttime and morning rituals.

If you are like me you probably check your phone before bed and also when you get up in the morning. I am going to challenge both you and I to adjust this.

At night before you fall asleep look at your calendar for tomorrow. See what’s on your schedule and then what you want to accomplish, whether it is running errands or reading a book. Visualizing completing your goals for tomorrow. Now get some good rest.

As you wake in the morning, don’t reach for that phone until you’ve done two things: taken several long, deep breathes and then run through your goals and visualizing how you’ll get them done.

Make this a daily practice and begin chasing your mindset to accomplishing everything you want to accomplish.

I hope this Call to Action helps you begin a new and productive practice that allows you to grow and feel accomplished.

Remember, you were born to do great things and you have a warrior spirit in you, you just need to find that inner strength.

So Rise Up, Warrior, Rise Up!

 

Have a beautiful week,

Know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made,

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much Love,

 

 

 

Stressed Out!!

Stressed Out!!

Dealing With Stress to Alleviate Phantom Pain

 

Ahhh, stress!

It wouldn’t be a day or a week without something triggering stress. A bid decision, a deadline, a fight with a friend, or even traffic!

As amputees we also face the uphill battles of healing, socket fittings, sores and painful steps, and phantom pains. Sometimes it feels like we never get a break. It feels like the weight of the world is placed on our shoulders and we can’t come up for air.

What we all need to learn is that every time we feel stressed out we have, in our own power, the ability to change the outcome. We control the narrative and we control how we come out on the other side.

“Mind over Matter” isn’t just a cliche it is truth.

 

 

When we hold in stressors we destroy our immune system, disrupt our nervous system, and create more problems than we need to.

We need to find ways to release negativity and stressors in our life. They will always be there, so instead of letting them take control and reeking havoc on your health you need to find ways to work through them and find a peace in your life.

When we learn to breathe, slow down, relax, and let go of the things we cannot control, then start feeding our mind with positive and affirming words we can begin to heal ourselves and give our bodies a chance to heal.

This week I challenge you.

 

 

Find time to slow down and breathe slowly and deeply through troubles and stressors you are feeling. Realize what you can control and what you cannot. If you can’t control something it’s time to let it go.

Use animals to help you find quiet time and centering. Horses especially are extremely intuitive and can read you from a mile away. If you bring in negative energy or a lot of “baggage” they won’t want to be close to you, and I don’t know about you, but I go see my horses for the kisses and love they pour into me. If I come preoccupied and upset, holding onto something negative, they sense it and walk away from me. I must clear my mind and center/ground myself if I want meaningful interaction with them.

 

Our closeness happens when I let my fears, anxiety, and stressors melt away and I focus on being present with my girl.

Words of affirmation and positivity. Speak them and repeat them as often as you need to about yourself until you have created a positive mindset. If you consistently beat yourself up over little things or become negative about your healing then this is where you need the most work. Our brain is a very powerful tool that believes what we speak into it. Speak only good and positive and watch your circumstances change for the better!

 

 

Finally, have grace upon grace for yourself. You won’t be perfect and you will stumble as you go through life, we all do, the challenge is to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and try again.

You’ve got this and I know you can do it. As you begin to make the changes needed to reduce stressors in your life you will start to notice phantom pains not being your focal point which then makes their grip on you much less.

Don’t give your pain power! Deny them and don’t continue to talk about them. The less time you pay attention to the pains you feel the less likely you are to be consumed and debilitated by them. You deserve better!

You can do this!

Be positive, breathe and focus on the positives! Watch your stress melt away and your phantom pains calm down.

Wishing you a week filled with health and happy thoughts.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

Much love,

 

 

The Future is Now: Part 4 of 5

The Future is Now: Part 4 of 5

University of Michigan

Mira Mutnik, Jake Kanetis, and Marty Kilbane

 

 

Amazing conversation with not 1, not 2, but 3 PhD students at the University of Michigan this week!

A true, authentic conversation about the innovation and design of future prosthesis and the growth and research of creating a surgical procedures to aid in using these newly designed prosthesis all with the purpose of replicating the natural human movement.

We packed so much conversation into this episode with so much more we could have talked about.

Once again, we discussed what we could, but some details must be left out due to the highly competitive field these young adults are working in.

What I love about these three students is that even though they are all in a different sector, so to speak, of research: Mira-above limb amputees, Jake-below limb amputees, and Marty-prosthetics, they are all working towards the same goal; creating the best way to unify the surgical procedure and prosthesis to give the amputee the best, most natural movement possible.

 

Jake all hooked up to monitor human movement to collect data for his research

 

Marty working with a study participant on their design of a prosthesis they are working on in the lab.

 

Mira collecting data on her upper limb project and how to get the best hand movement and dexterity of a prosthesis.

 

We had a great discussion of what it could look like for the future of amputees and the length of time these studies take. There are a lot of hoops to jump through, safety regulations, data collecting, and trials. The FDA must approve procedures and products that they hope to take to market some day, but these students have become three of the many students going through the program at University of Michigan, working tirelessly to bring this technology closer to us being able to access it.

I find it so unique to see the shift from making the newest, coolest, most advanced products for us to wear, as amputees, to surgical procedures to make our bodies work in harmony with a prosthesis. The one thing we did dive deep into was the procedure of getting candidates who fit the bill to doing the trial procedures, and finding willing participants as well. This can be so tricky as we struggle with the idea of going back in and revision the original amputation in hopes that the outcome will be the same if not better, but the concern that it could be worse.

I hope you will join us today, listen to the entire podcast and see what dedication these students have for helping our amputee community, what motivates them to continue into this higher level of study, and what their plans are for their future after graduation.

Thank you Jake, Mira, and Marty for sharing your passion. Your dedication to helping our community find a better way to live is inspiring and deserves our gratitude!

Continue doing what you’re doing, and know we all thank you for the time, ideas, and ingenuity to take amputees to the next level!

Please make sure you all Like, Share, and Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode as we continue with our 5th Student interview next week as we visit MIT again from a different angle.

Wishing you all the best, and a blessed week ahead.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!

 

Much love,

One Step At A Time

One Step At A Time

Goal Setting and Climbing Your “Mountain”

 

Nothing in life that’s worth achieving is going to come easy. Working toward a goal, putting your best foot forward and sweating through it makes achieving it all the more sweet.

Why would becoming an amputee be anything different?

If you were active before your amputation, then you know what can be done with a lot of work, grit, and determination.

It won’t be easy. It’ll test your resolve MANY times, but, when you get to the goal you set for yourself, you will feel such a sense of excitement and joy like you’ve never felt!

Don’t worry about what others are doing or achieving. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy.

You focus on you! Do what you can do now, and each day try to be better than the last. The next thing you’ll realize is how far you’ve come since you started.

One step at a time has been my mantra since my amputation. I can’t look at the big picture or I’ll get nervous or doubt what I’m capable of. Instead I focus on putting one foot down at a time, at my pace, and what I can do in this moment. And each ,moment is different. Today I might be whipping around the neighborhood, feeling confident and without pain, and then tomorrow I could be struggling with just walking slowly around my home.

All you can do, is work hard with what you have been given each day, but if you can honestly say that you gave it your all then I promise that you will see strides at reaching your goals.

One step at a time is meant to be metaphorical, and also very literal, for us amputees. Don’t think about walking all day in your prosthesis when you get up, and don’t just tell yourself that you’ll put it on for a little bit or later today. Put it on with the mindset that you’ll wear it for all you can, however long that will be today, knowing that each day brings its own struggles and accomplishments, but you don’t know what kind of day it will be until you are in the midst of it.

 

Skiing on one leg is definitely a mind over matter exercise!

 

Mindset matters!

What you tell yourself first thing in the morning is how your day will go. When I wake up, I know I will put my leg on first then go through my day. Somedays I cannot get to the gym because it hurts too much so I do what I can at home, keeping it on, and building my tolerance up for wearing it. Other days, I put it on and get a burst of energy and hike 4 to 5 miles without even thinking about it.

Mindset matters and what you tell yourself will be the direction your mind takes, and what your body believes.

Always get moving with your best intentions and your heart and mind in the most positive place you can be and then see how your day unfolds. One step at a time.

 

This week, it is pretty straight forward.

This week I want you to remember to keep speaking positivity to yourself.

Write down “ONE STEP AT A TIME” on post it notes and place them in places you spend a lot of time in and around your house to remind yourself to take your goals and your actual steps at YOUR pace and ONE AT A TIME.

 

Hiking is my favorite activity. Every hike is different and challenges me to be focused and push myself.

 

Set a goal. Wherever you are right now physically, mentally, and based on your weather and location and decide what it will take each day to break it down and work towards it at your pace.

You can achieve anything you put your mind to if you set mini goals for yourself, or stepping stones to that goal. Make the steps small enough to find success, and big enough to challenge yourself.

 

First time hiking on snow!

 

And then watch yourself break the barriers that you thought were there because of your circumstance.

I believe in you! I believe we are all born to fight for what we want and desire. THAT is a Warrior mentality.

So, rise up warriors, and sieze this moment. You are not broken, or weak, or disabled. You are a warrior of epic proportions.

Get after your goals and dreams today, ONE STEP AT A TIME!!

 

Have a beautifully blessed week and as always, until next time,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,