Tag: happiness

The Elephant in the Room

The Elephant in the Room

The Reality of Phantom Pain

 

 

It’s real!

It does exist, and it can come out of nowhere and attack you when you least expect it. Phantom pain is an equal opportunity offender with no regard for who it targets.

Phantom sensation is similar but constant. It’s not about the excruciating pain it inflicts, like phantom PAIN, as much as it’s the never ending, always present tingling, buzzing, and throbbing of the missing body part, (in my case, my lower left leg and foot).

No matter what’s going on, how active I am or am not, or even the weather, phantom sensations are always burning in my foot. At first I didn’t think I was going to be able to take it but I can tell you two certainities:

  1. After suffering phantom PAIN, I will gladly take the sensations!
  2. I find that these sensations are a gift in that they help me to find my footing as I walk because my foot feels like it’s there at all times.

 

Just a reminder, all journeys are NOT the same. my pain tolerance might be higher than yours or your phantom pain might last longer and be more intense than mine, we are all different and how we handle them is also going to be different.

Some people choose to medicate to help with the pain, others use mirror therapy or a neurotransmitter.

Others may choose to use tap therapy, or heat/cold therapy to lessen the intensity.

 

I have a neurotransmitter implanted in my back, but it created more pain than it stopped so I have turned mine off, for now.

I also have chosen to stay far away from medication so I know the true feelings of my pain and learn to deal with them naturally as they come. I spent too many years on drugs to help with all the surgeries and couldn’t wait to get off of them, permanently!

 

Like I said, everyone is different. what works for me may or may not work for you. Only you can decide how to attack these phantom issues. It’s always good to talk with other amputees to see how they are dealing with their pain and what works for them but remember what works for them may not work for you.

I say this so you don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work. You will need to keep searching and trying out new ways to handle your pain based on you. And sometimes something will work one time but not the next time it occurs. Talk about frustrating!!

Phantom pain is for real! It’s vicious, distracting, and debilitating! It can and will try to consume you, and break you, just remember you are strong! You are a warrior!

 

 

This is a tough one.

You will need to get creative and dig down deep!

This is where TRUE warriors are made.

Don’t sit and dwell on the pain, it will consume you and make it harder to bounce back from it.

Find somethings that work for you (I use distraction when I am in a bad pain place-walking, driving in my car, playing music, watching a movie, reading, moving some more, getting to the gym, etc) This keeps my mind active, and distracted. Don’t sit around thinking about it, it’ll only amplify the pain, trust me, I know!

Once you find things you are capable of doing, use these techniques to help you on the rough days. You will find that you will handle the phantom pains better if you have resources ready to be utilized.

And don’t forget to communicate with your family, friends, your support system. Even best laid plans get wrecked, and if you are screaming on the inside, more than likely you’ll start screaming on the outside and the people who you love the most will be casualties to it. Let them know that you are struggling. Phantom pain is invisible to everyone outside of us, they can’t know what we are going through so we must be open and honest, for the sake of relationships.

You’ve got this and you are NOT alone.

Rise up, Precious Warrior, Rise up! Fight your battles with confidence and with the assurance that this too shall pass.

 

As always and until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living With Purpose

Living With Purpose

It’s Time to Wake and Seize the Day

 

 

As I approached my surgery date for my amputation I began to dream. I dreamt of all the things that could be a challenge and how I was going to conquer each challenge.  I created a vision board, set goals, and dared to dream of rising above my circumstance.

 

My Vision Board

 

Once that surgery happened, I began to set my sights on each goal: learning to walk as quickly as possible, skiing with my family, learning to surf, virtual races, and then a 10k, in person, at the Phoenix Rock’n’Roll Marathon.

 

 

 

 

Skiing for 1st time-3 1/2 months post amputation

 

Sled Hockey-1 month post amputation

 

Phoenix Rock’n’Roll Marathon: 10K race for St. Jude- 1 year post amputation

Virtual races all done as an amputee

 

 

 

Surfing for the first time…ever!

 

I worked hard at PT, I trained outside of PT, got back in the gym, and dreamed about reaching my goals.

 

Each day I would wake up and jump at the opportunities to become stronger, mentally focused, and created smaller goals to get to the big ones.

I had purpose and I was driven.

My “WHY”-my husband and my two sons

 

My family was backing me through all of my endeavors, and I am so grateful for that because as I set my goals and worked toward them, I grew stronger and more confident in my new abilities.  My family became my “WHY”. Why I was doing what I was doing was so that no one had to cater their life for me because of the position I was now in as an amputee. I wanted to be strong, confident, self-sufficient and totally independent to be the wife and mom they had always known.

When you wake up and are given another day on this planet with the people in your life, you need to see that you have purpose. No matter what you are going through, or the challenges you are facing, you have something to offer this world: a smile, a kind word, inspiration, your talents. There is more to you than your physical being. You were given a soul to share in this world. You were gifted with talents that only YOU could possess. It is up to you to make good on them, to see past your own circumstances, and give each day your best.

YOU have purpose.

If you have breath in your lungs, you have purpose.

What is your purpose in life? What gifts do you possess that the people, your community, could benefit from?

Who or what is your “WHY”?

What gets you up and charged each morning?

 

First thing is to figure out your “WHY”. Who or what makes you want to be stronger? More fierce? Unstoppable? Who do you live for?

Write it down!

Next, figure out what you want to do with this life you are given. You are more than your circumstance(s). You are more than your physical body.

Don’t define your goals, dreams and ambitions by your situation.

Tell yourself you can do whatever you set your mind to.

Now write down what you want to do in the next couple of weeks, months, and by year’s end.

Dream it, do it!

These goals and ambitions give you your purpose.

Example: I began looking for ways to help others on their amputation journey. I wanted to use my positive outlook to help others and to show them that life wasn’t over after amputation, just different, and adaptable.

 

You are a warrior!

Be strong, find ways to conquer and live your best life…No matter your circumstance you always have purpose and something to give this world.

 

As always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

Peace in the Waiting

Peace in the Waiting

Finding Patience Amidst Trials

 

Today, I want to share with you an important lesson I’ve been learning lately: the power of patience in the face of trials. Life has a funny way of throwing obstacles our way, testing our resilience and pushing us outside our comfort zones. But through it all, I’m discovering that cultivating patience can be a game-changer.
As an amputee, trials and challenges can be overwhelming, leaving us feeling frustrated, anxious, and stressed. But remember, every difficulty we go through is an opportunity for growth. Patience allows us to stay calm, focused, and determined, enabling us to find creative solutions and move forward with resilience. Embracing the challenges in our lives can be used as steppingstones towards personal growth, and better health.
In our fast-paced world, where we look for everything to be given to us instantly, having patience has become more of a lost art. We are constantly seeking instant gratification and quick results. However, true growth and transformation takes time and experience. Patience teaches us to appreciate the journey and find joy in the present moment. By shifting our focus from the destination to the process, we can savor the small victories along the way and celebrate our progress.
Today, I was reminded, yet again, that I need to learn patience, enjoy the moment, and be present. Sakari, my mare, was my teacher and today she gave me the gift of living in the moment. Normally, she would come right over to me to get our morning going, but today she took her time and slowly ate her hay. As she ate, I spent a few minutes wandering around, baking in the summer sun, feeling a bit impatient. But after I took stock in the moment, I saw the gift of just being there, watching her every move, and observing the world I was now a part of. This is where I find healing and reconnect with myself. I almost missed it!
Perhaps the most incredible aspect of patience is its ability to teach us valuable life lessons. It teaches us perseverance, empathy, and self-control. It encourages us to practice gratitude, mindfulness, and acceptance. By embracing patience, we become better equipped to handle future challenges and build stronger relationships with ourselves and others.
This week you need to address a problem you are facing.
Write it down and then write 3 things you CAN change about the circumstance, then write down 3 things you CANNOT change.
Now, using those lists, get to work on doing what you CAN do and letting go of what is out of your control.
Breathe, relax, and have faith.
I hope you found something that can help you through your trials and assist you in gaining patience.
Have a beautiful week,
And as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,
Angie
Fresh Eyes

Fresh Eyes

Seeing Your Life with Renewed Positivity

 

What grounds you and wakes you up to the moment you’re living in?

What lights a fire and gives you strength and clarity?

I realize that all too often, that I am wishing away a moment, a day, even a month, just to get to the next thing on my list, like nothing else matters.

Have you ever been guilty of that?

After my amputation I just remember wishing for my first socket to be ready, then my next PT, I couldn’t wait to get walking, or out of pain. Living in frustration and anxiousness because THIS moment wasn’t where I wanted to be.

Every once in a while, something will happen in my life that wakes me up to the fact that I am wishing away my life, not happy where I’m at, and wanting to be anywhere else, doing something else. That’s when I stop, slow down, and reflect on how precious my life, in that moment is. I see the mountains for the first time all over again. I watch the birds coming and going, paying attention to each sound they make, smelling the desert air as if for the first time as the storm rolls in.

 

 

This is where I want to be, in the good and the bad, living on purpose, with a purpose.

So how do we stay present, and not take life for granted?

How do we handle the pains, and bumps and bruises, we are dealt on a daily basis, embracing it for better or worse?

Unfortunately, it takes an event to snap us out walking through life in a zombie state of mind and to see our lives with fresh eyes.

I experienced that this past weekend when my family came to visit, and it was their first time to ever visit Arizona. The first time to feel the dry heat, see the ginormous cacti, and smell the monsoon roll in. As I pondered how it must feel, look, and smell to them I was reminded how I felt my first time, and how I took all of that for granted.

This is the same for us as we go through the trials in life. We get fixated on our next doctor appointment, next surgery, next test, only to forget the moments in between.

Life is going to through us curve balls, it’s going to try and knock us down (and will succeed every once in a while) and sidetrack us into thinking and worrying about everything else but what is happening to us right this moment. We must stop this.

We must embrace the moment we are in, live intentionally, and enjoy where we are. This moment is fleeting, and another one will take its place, and we are not guaranteed tomorrow.

I realized that I am guilty of wishing away days, instead of enjoying them. I regret this as I now sit here, wishing for them to come back, but it is in vain. What I can do is to stay present from now on. Enjoy the good times with the bad, knowing that they will pass and be filled with others. Each of these events is a part of my journey, making me into who I am, building me into the person I am meant to be.

Maybe today you are hurting or struggling with life. Maybe you are wishing today away, hoping for a better day tomorrow. Are you seeing clearly at the life you are making for yourself, or just going through the motions? What a gift it is to be awoken from a deep sleep, from routine, to see clearly once again, to enjoy life with fresh eyes.

What are you wishing away? Remember, you’ll never get tomorrow back.

 

This week, try to stay present. Enjoy each moment for what it’s worth, even if it’s not pleasant. Enjoy the view, you’ll find your outlook on life can change and become more positive, when we let go of our distractions and fine tune our sight to what is in front of us.

Practice being present and looking at the world around you as if looking at everything for the first time- with eyes like a child.

 

You are strong and capable, but it takes practice. Set down your phone, find time to sit in silence and without distraction, your heart and mind will thank you for it.

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!

 

Much love,

Angie

P.S. Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses along the way!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never Ending Challenges

Never Ending Challenges

When You Least Expect It

Just when you think you are in the clear. Or when you feel like you got it all together….Wham!!!

Yep, life sends you into a new challenge.

I am 4 1/2 years out from my amputation and into my 15th socket I go. However, even though it should have been a simple change as it was just a remake of the socket I was in (the plastic was giving away but still fit) we encountered complications.

Nothing major, but my valve wasn’t working properly for a couple of weeks, which meant I couldn’t wear it, and then once that got fixed the end of my residual limb seemed to be moving too much down inside of the socket, which was creating swelling, which in turn made it worse.

It was a snowball effect. One issue, led to another issue, which led to another issue.

Simple fix. Hmmm.

Ever have that happen to you?

How did you handle it?

What I can tell you is that after 4 years of wearing a prosthetic, I have become more attuned to my body and what feels right, and what I can and cannot handle. These are minor issues, indeed, but if you don’t have the experience (which only comes with time and observations as an amputee) then you may be prone to freaking out about the fit and worried that these issues could get worse and create bigger issues.

I remember the first time my residual limb swelled. I didn’t know what was happening, why it felt weird and hard, and freaked out that I was getting an infection. After all, I had heard of amputees getting infections years after their surgery! YIKES!!

Now that I understand what is happening with my limb, I know how to combat it and when to call my prosthetist for help and adjustments.

 

 

Experience is key, but I share this with you so you understand what can happen, even years later. That you need to build up your patience and knowledge so you can handle these odd moments, because they don’t just stop after the first year.

 

Don’t give up hope.

Try not to get frustrated, and make sure you make time to stop and breathe deeply.

Smile. It helps with your emotional state in the midst of problems, and don’t let fear strike you down. I understand that each new issue is delving into the unknown, but you will survive, and you will rise up again, and again, and again.

 

Remember, you are a Warrior!

Now go out and seize the day!

You are special, unique, and there is only one YOU in this whole, wide world!

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

 

 

 

New Chapter, New You

New Chapter, New You

Reinventing Yourself

 

 

What would you do if you have a second chance?
How would you spend your days if you received a new lease on life?
This is how I felt after my amputation.
I realized that the choice was mine and I could do and try anything I wanted and reinvent myself and enjoy new hobbies, sports, and activities.
I wasn’t going to allow my amputation to define me or limit me, it was my time to show myself, my family, and the world what an amputee could do when they put their mind to it.
I was going to prove that life was just beginning, not ending, for me.
The choice was easy for me, but maybe you are struggling with this.
The choice is:
Am I a victim or
Am I a warrior?
Well, I am a warrior and a fighter. If someone thinks I can’t do something, then I will pursue that with my whole heart and rise up to the challenge.
If I am told it can’t be done, I will find a way to accomplish it.
I want to prove that I make the decision on how full my life was going to be, and I was NOT about to roll over and die.
This is my journey.
This is my story.
And I know you can achieve this, too.
You must consciously choose each and every day, to overcome the obstacles and rise up.
It takes a change in your mental game, and goal setting.
You are a Warrior!
You CAN rise up and become whatever you choose to be and accomplish whatever you put your heart and mind to.
This is the moment you can reinvent yourself and live a full AND happy life! I know you can!
You are beautifully and wonderfully made!
You are a WARRIOR!!
It’s time to unleash your inner warrior and watch your life blossom into everything you ever wanted and deserve.
The time is now!
This week put your focus on positive thoughts and goal setting.
What is it that you’d like to try? What would you like to accomplish?
What have people in your life said that you might never be able to do again but you know that if you work at it that you could actually do?
It is time to put the past behind you, forgive and move on, and reinvent yourself!
It is time for you to unleash the warrior within you and shine!
Now it is time to believe in yourself, and live your best life yet!
YES YOU CAN!!!
Today is the day! Now is the time!
Rise up, Warrior, rise up!!!
Reach out to me if you need help, advice, or encouragement! I am here for you!
And until next week and as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie
Hug and Kisses XOXO
Cast Your Worries, Reel In Patience

Cast Your Worries, Reel In Patience

A Fishing Analogy for New Amputees

 

From experience, I KNOW, without a doubt, that there are fish in our lake.

Just yesterday I caught a huge northern pike and released him….. he is in there, waiting for the next lure to tempt him.

How does this relate to amputees and our journey? Great question.

Patience, for one. And knowing how to keep moving forward, even when you feel like giving up, for another.

I must have casted 1000 times in 5 hours last weekend, and not a nibble!!!! 5 hours!!! I’m either totally dedicated to my craft or absolutely crazy! But, I love the POSSIBILTY. The possibility that I could catch a fish, maybe even the biggest fish in the lake (I may be a little competitive 😏) keeps me going.

Not my biggest catch, but I’ll take it as a win!

 

This is the same for amputees. No matter what I tell newbies, until they go through it themselves, it just doesn’t click. Some people think they’ll get through it without a hiccup and be off and running right after they get their prosthesis. What you have to remember is that 1) Everyone’s experience is unique and individualistic. 2) We all atrophy and thus makes our fitting process a challenge, and 3) You don’t know what you don’t know, and it won’t make sense until YOU go through it.

That being said, going through the early moments of becoming an amputee are like fishing. You know that you will be able to walk again, run, hike, bike, swim, etc. You’ve seen tons of other amputees make it, and the prosthesis they are making now are so amazing and helpful to our success. but you also need to remember that you can’t catch the big fish if you aren’t patient, and ready to put in the time.

 

 

Go at it with a positive attitude. Take a step back when things get hard, and you.ve forgotten what WILL be possible. You have to earn it, so to speak, and you’ll be better prepared and ready for future hiccups after going through the first year or two.  But it won’t be easy. You will be pushed to the edge a few times, whether with the way it feels, the fitting, pain, sensations, or a plethora of other things that could happen.  But don’t lose hope. I went through the changes and the exhaustion of never-ending appointments to get the right fit. I went through excruciating pains of a neuroma and the surgery to remove it, along with the setback of healing from that surgery before I could wear my leg again. I understand the heartache when you just want to be and feel “normal” and you just don’t see how that will ever happen for you. It will! I promise. Keep the faith. Don’t take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at those moments. Cry when you need to then pull up your big boy/big girl pants and trudge forward. You will get to where you want to be, but you will work for it, I promise that too.

 

 

 

What I use to tell my students all the time was that if it was easy then you wouldn’t feel as proud of yourself for accomplishing the task at hand. Same goes for us amputees. You will have to overcome some seriously huge mountains at times, but when you are at the top looking back at where you came from, you can be so proud to know that you truly ARE a warrior!!!!

 

I believe in you!

Don’t you dare give up.

Put in the time, practice patience, and know that with time, things will get easier.

 

You are amazing and will accomplish great feats. You only need to be steadfast and patient. Be realistic in knowing that it takes time, but in the end you will succeed!

 

As always, and until next week,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

(Be PATIENT….)

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

Patience is a virtue.

 

A few of my favorite things as I sit at the lake fishing

The view is so peaceful

 

Wildflowers everywhere!

 

Love Yourself….

Love Yourself….

Where You’re At

 

Ever felt alone, even though you are surrounded by your support, your family, your friends?
As an amputee, it can be hard for anyone to really grasp what we are feeling when it comes to nerve or “phantom” pains. To explain it, doesn’t do justice, yet we can deal with it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I know I do.
There are many times that, even though we are surrounded by people who love us, we feel alone and having to handle pain and problems that accompany bring an amputee by ourselves. It is in those moments that we must rise up, become stronger than we ever thought we could be, and fight through the pain.
This can only be done when we treat ourselves like our own best friend. We must love who we are enough to support ourselves with positive words and thoughts, words we would lend a friend in need. Sometimes that is harder than it should be as we struggle in silence.
When we feed ourselves words of affirmation, love, positivity, and forgiveness, we give ourselves the greatest gift, a fighting chance to rise up stronger. We must learn to love ourselves, where we are, now, so we can gain a healthy mindset and live a full and healthy life.
Start today. Begin by affirming that you are worth love, happiness, and good health.
Speak positive words into your heart and mind.
Practice this daily, even hourly, if you need to, until it becomes second nature to be a positive person.
Your future self will thank you for it!!
Until next week, and as always,
Be Healthy,
Be Happy,
Be YOU!!!
Much love,
Angie

 

Prosthetic Parley with Randy and David

Prosthetic Parley with Randy and David

Let’s Talk About Sockets

 

 

 

This week we begin a new series called Prosthetic Parley with Randy and David. My prosthetist will come on once every other month to discuss hot topics that you, the viewers are interested in and talking about. This week we discuss what types of sockets there are and what fit might be right for you and why.
Please keep in mind that these are the opinions of two prosthetists, whom I use and trust, but it is in their opinion. We hope that this educates you enough so you can speak to your own prosthetists and make a positive decision on what would work best for you.
We also dive into Limbs For Humanity, a non-profit that Randy and David, have just begun, bringing prosthetics to people who are not able to get one due to location and financial situations. They work with Rocky Point Medical Clinic in Rocky Point, Mexico, as well as doing good for those here in the states. They are in need of your help so if you have any spare parts or old prosthetics that you are no longer using, please reach out to me or them so we can put them to great use, helping others become active and mobile once again. If you aren’t an amputee and don’t know of anyone with spare parts, financial donations is also a huge help so they can purchase the items they need to construct limbs and sockets.
You can reach them at one of the Instagram accounts below:
@limbmaster
@gogobanks
@thelimbcenter
@limbsforhumanity

Or reach out to me:
@BAWarrior360
@angie_heuser

Check this episode out and if you have any topics you’d like covered in the next episode please feel free to let me know!
#amputeelife #amputeegirl #prostheticparley #thelimbcenter #limbsforhumanity #sockets #abovekneeamputee #belowkneeamputee #bawarrior360 #personaljourney #factsandopinions #discussion #liveyourbestlife #podcast

The guys, hard at work

 

 

Rocky Point, Mexico. Rocky Point Medical Clinic

 

Special shout-outs to Rocky Point Medical Clinic, Lencho at LS Labs, @Alps_south, @collegeparkind, and @b.tyler.hyatt

 

I hope you enjoy this discussion time with Randy and David and may your week be blessed!

As always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie

 

A Season and A Reason

A Season and A Reason

Navigating Friendships Through Life’s Trials

Friends come and go in our lives. Sometimes it’s because of geographical change, and sometimes we outgrow each other. Other times we part ways because there is a fall out, or even a misunderstanding that goes unattended and left to grow. On the flip side, as our stages in life change so do the people who come into it, and a new friendship blossoms in an unlikely moment.

If you have been dealing with a difficult time in your life, you will notice one of two things might happen.

One, certain people will rally around you to assist and be there for you. They check in often, organize other helpers, and even come to help you pass the time. They bend over backwards to make sure you are taken care of, and love doing this for you and your family.

Two, some people will disappear when you need them most. This is heartbreaking because what you thought was a great, solid, and caring friendship is destroyed in the blink of an eye. When the going gets tough…they get going!

 

Now, based on these two descriptions we also need to see OUR side of the relationship. Let’s call this self-reflection time.

How are you projecting your situation out into the world? Who is getting sideswiped by your frustrations, “Debbie Downer” moments, and your wrath?

You see, it takes two. And of course, we know it’s hard to deal with something big that goes wrong in our life. I understand this. I spent 5 years in and out of surgeries, only to come to the realization that amputation was the only way out. I’m sure that I had some “moments” that weren’t so sweet and joyful. However, what was my body language saying? What words and type of tones were coming out of my mouth? Who got hit with the anger, frustration, and disappointment I was feeling in the worst moments on my journey?

Do you see what I’m saying here?

Sometimes we need to correct ourselves, for the sake of the relationship. We need to remember that everyone goes through hard times, unexpected illnesses, and redirections in their journeys. What we can’t do is succumb to the negative emotions at the risk of losing beautiful people in our lives. Negativity kills friendships. Negativity kills relationships. Negativity will keep you down and devour you from the inside out.

Friendships are two-way streets, and we just need to take a look in the mirror to see if what we are putting out in the universe is helpful in growing, and nurturing the relationships we have, or are we using our circumstance to separate us from those that we are closest.

Good friends want to watch you rise up and succeed. Does your personality during crisis mode invite them in to your life or scream at them to get out?

 

 

Take stock in your relationships.

This week make a list of the friends who have entered your life and those who are on their way out.

Next, decide which ones are worth saving and which ones are toxic to your recovery and happiness.

It’s time:

Reach out and love on the friends who mean something to you. Give them a reason to call you friend. We must learn to reciprocate the attention and support.

Cut ties with those who are bad for you. The ones who’d rather see you down and out, the ones who don’t believe in you and have let you down time and time again.

Use this next week to take stock in the true friendships in your life and, if need be, what it’s going to take on your part to nurture them.

 

You’ve got this,

And don’t forget that it’s ok to let go of those who are bad for you. Maybe they were a positive in your life PRIOR to what you’re going through, but they have changed since then. This is tour life, and you deserve to be happy.

 

Best wishes on clearing up your life and the poeple in it.

And as always, until next time,

Be healthy,

Be happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

Angie