Tag: prosthetic life

Pivoting and Grief

Pivoting and Grief

Honoring What Was, Before Reimagining What’s Next

 

What if moving forward requires us to first acknowledge what we have lost?

In Part Four of my five-part series on pivoting, I’m exploring a side of change that we don’t talk about enough: grief. We often celebrate the courage it takes to pivot, rebuild, and begin again, but every new direction may also require us to release the life, body, identity, or future we once imagined.

As I approach eight years since electing to amputate my leg, I’ve been asking myself whether I ever truly grieved my limb loss. Looking back, I realize much of my grieving happened during the four months between deciding to amputate and undergoing surgery. I cried, wrestled with my fears, and tried to understand how my future might change. When I finally released it to God, I felt a peace that helped me move forward.

 

 

Every amputee’s experience is different. Some of us have time to prepare, while others wake up after an accident or medical emergency and discover that their body has changed. There is no correct way or timeline for grieving.

Grief is not limited to death. We can grieve our independence, body image, physical abilities, relationships, identity, trust, or the path we thought our lives would follow. We can also be deeply grateful for our prosthesis, medical team, family, and progress while still grieving what was lost.

 

 

 

Grief does not make me ungrateful, and gratitude does not require me to pretend that nothing was lost.

When grief remains unacknowledged, it can surface as anger, resentment, emotional numbness, comparison, overworking, or constantly pushing through pain. I recognize my own tendency to connect my value with productivity. Sometimes staying busy feels easier than slowing down long enough to feel what is happening inside me.

I also share five steps for moving through a life-changing pivot: name what you lost, allow yourself to feel it, honor why it mattered, release the original shape of the dream, and reimagine what remains possible.

 

 

I may not ski exactly as I once imagined, but I found another way. I learned to ski on one leg with outriggers, and that reimagined future has brought courage and joy back into my life.

 

 

This week, name one thing you have been trying to move past. What changed? What do you miss? Why did it matter? Then ask yourself: How can I carry the heart of that dream forward in a new form?

Give yourself permission to grieve without judgment—but don’t stop there. Honor what was, release the path you expected, and begin reimagining what could still be possible. Share this episode with someone facing an unexpected change, and follow the BAWarrior Podcast as we continue learning how to rebuild on the other side of the pivot.

 

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

Much love,

 

Grab the Reins and Go!

Grab the Reins and Go!

Moving from Recovery Mode into Momentum Mode

Year of the Fire Horse Part 5

 

 

There are seasons in life where we heal… and then there are seasons where we’re called to move again.

For a while, I was healing.

After my revision surgery and AMI procedure, my world slowed down whether I wanted it to or not. New sockets, new pain, scar tissue, relearning movement — it felt like starting over all over again. And just when I began to feel ready to push forward, life filled in the space. Holidays, responsibilities, travel, hosting, caring for others. Suddenly months had passed and I realized something important:

I wasn’t stuck because I couldn’t move forward.

I was stuck because I had gotten comfortable waiting.

This episode is about that moment of realization — the moment you understand that healing can quietly turn into hesitation if you’re not careful.

We’ve just stepped into the Year of the Fire Horse, and whether you follow that calendar or not, the symbolism matters. Fire brings energy, intensity, and transformation. The horse represents movement, courage, and momentum. Together, they create a once-in-a-lifetime invitation to stop sitting on the sidelines of your own life.

But before we can run forward, we have to shed what we’ve been carrying.

 

 

I talked about the Year of the Snake — the year we’re leaving — and how snakes shed their skin. They don’t gently outgrow it. They press themselves against rough surfaces to pull it off. Friction is required for renewal.

And honestly… that’s us.

Hard seasons, setbacks, medical struggles, emotional weight — those moments aren’t proof life is against us. They’re often the very process that removes the old version of us so a new one can exist. The mistake we make is trying to keep the old skin. We analyze it, revisit it, and sometimes build our identity around it instead of leaving it behind.

This year asks something different of us.

It asks us to stop waiting for perfect conditions.

As amputees especially, waiting becomes normal. We wait for appointments, healing, prosthetics, pain to calm down, energy to return. Waiting becomes a lifestyle. But at some point, waiting stops protecting us and starts limiting us.

 

 

So this episode is a challenge:

Stop saying “when things get better.”

Start asking “what can I do today?”

Because growth does not happen inside comfort.

Comfort leads to stagnation.

Stagnation leads to false alignment — a place where we convince ourselves we’re okay staying where we are, even when our heart knows we’re meant for more.

I see it in myself. I’ve been certified in equine therapy for months, yet I hesitated to begin. Not because I couldn’t… but because of the “what ifs.” What if I fail? What if I’m not ready? What if timing isn’t right?

But authenticity matters more than preparedness.

You grow by doing — not by waiting until fear disappears.

The Fire Horse energy is bold. It rewards decisive action, courage, and honesty with yourself. It exposes the places we hide in comfort and invites us to lead our lives instead of postponing them.

That doesn’t mean ignoring hard days. It means refusing to let them define every day.

If you’re not ready for a big challenge, start smaller.

Stop micromanaging everything wrong and start noticing what’s right. Write down blessings. Shift focus. Open your awareness to the parts of life still moving forward around you.

Because we are more than our bodies.

More than our pain.

More than our setbacks.

The warrior mindset isn’t pretending life isn’t hard — it’s deciding hardship won’t be the end of your story.

This episode is your reminder:

You don’t need a new year, a Monday, or perfect timing.

You need a decision.

Grab the reins.

Move forward.

Start now.

And as always,

Be Healthy,

Be Happy,

Be YOU!!!

 

Much love,

 

My blessings and the people who keep me going! ♥